(updated 20 Oct 06)

Drek provided by Cad and Bucko

Well, the votes have been counted and we...no, you...yes, you...underwhelmingly chose "DeFUNitions". So, that's the one we are going with this time around. As usual, we welcome your topic suggestions...AND you get 25 Rat's Asses if we use your idea.

On to our Double Feature Presentation!:

The Princess Bridezillas
(Written by: tainsam@aol.com)

...what a man's got to do. (NITRAMXXX@aol.com) Smedley.... you married her, you HAVE to do her.

"I want the ice sculpture NOW! I mean it!" "Anybody want a peanut?" (tainsam@aol.com)

Jeez, honey, you have terrible teeth. (Cantw82paint@Aol.com) Of course, in Alabama, it would be "tooth". Right, Cad?

The Queer Eye guys rush to Tokyo to try to save it from destruction by a bunch of tacky brides. MAKEOVERS TO THE RESCUE! (LouMizzou@yahoo.com)

These girls are fisty! Are they having a bad hair day, or are they just hung over? Whatever the case: watch them stomp a mudhole in their wedding cake and march it dry. This is a must-see for anyone who has ever wanted to just lose it. (lsamarri@aol.com) I'm sure you meant "feisty", but, MAN, is it funnier this way!

A prime example of reality entertainment gone too far. Wait, did they say mud wrestling? Perhaps I have been too hasty in my opinion. (JoyfulDJoy@aol.com)

Because the fun's over after the wedding. (j_perreaux@hotmail.com) Yes, your wife wrote in and told us all about it.

Filmed in Kyoto, the anagram lover's Tokyo. (Mistahtom@aol.com) Okay...thank you for committing another bit of useless trivia to my head already full...of useless trivia.

A lonely Jewish-American Princess has been "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" once too often. She gathers others of her kind, and they destroy Tokyo, which seems awfully small, by stomping their feet in an epic tantrum. (wedrixe@netscape.net)

Peter Falk comes out of retirement to slap some sense into a couple of overstressed, overweight, overbearing bitches. (e-marlon@sio.midco.net) Ah! A Massachusetts wedding....

Blue Oyster Cult: "With a purposeful grimace..." Inigo Montoya: "You keep using those words. I do not think it means what you think it means." (rsherman@netplexgroup.com) And thank YOU for getting that song stuck in my head - it's been running non-stop in there since I read this entry...oh, a few hours ago.

"Hello! My name is Princess Bridezilla. You stole my wedding planner. Prepare to die!" (JTulli@Juno.com)

Well, in his younger days he worked as a singer in bars...but Burr a lounge lizard? I hardly doubt...

Oh, my God! She's huge! She's ugly! She's Raymond Burr in drag! (strontium901@aol.com)

"You're an atheist?" "Swear to God!" -

"... but what about the R.O.U.S.es?" "The Reverends Offering Us Sanctification? I don't believe they exist!" (mimsydivine@earthlink.net)