(updated 24 Mar 06)

Drek provided by Cad and Bucko

On to our Double Feature Presentation!:

Legally Blonde Starship Troopers
(Directed by paracletus3@earthlink.net)

Another damn Star Trek sequel about all the girls Kirk supposedly boinked. (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com)

"I'm sorry to report admiral that we've already lost half our fleet of battle cruisers. The pilots got a little distracted while applying their makeup." (tpanner@hotmail.com)

Point that thing at me. It might go off!!!! (sheafitz1@netscape.com) Sounds like you've summed up the plot of every blonde alien porn film.

"OK, soldiers! Let's SMOKE them roaches!"

WOW!!! The Prime Directive sounds so sexy. I wonder what it means? (sheafitz1@netscape.com) That's okay...I'm still contemplating Sexy Primes. It means: "Send the sexy brunettes to Bucko!"

When barely subliminal fascism is...well...just too complicated (williemelmoth@aol.com)

Earth is about to be destroyed by maggots on steroids. Only the fact that they're deathly allergic to rat-dogs saves us. (strontium901@juno.com) Maggots on steroids? Barry Bonds is in this? We should all be so Lucky, or Lady, or Tinkerbell...whatever.

Elle Wood breaks a nail and, in her fury, wipes out an entire alien civilization. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

It's peroxide and hairspray vs. giant cockroaches. Earth gets destroyed, but if that was our best legal defense, we deserved it. (wedrixe@netscape.net) Finally, some believable FACT with the science fiction.

All troopers must have a spreadleg inspection prior to being called Legally Blonde. A dye job running is considered a breach and they become downgraded to kitchen duty. (NITRAMXXX@aol.com)

And yet, it's better than Princess Diaries: Atlantis (choose that one next or die). (timamod@aol.com) Don't you just love it when they threaten us? Like we're actually going to listen...or was this an entry?

"Oh, my God! This helmet just RUINED my hairdo!" On the surface of the enemy's planet, the high humidity will be murder on their hair. (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com; tpanner@hotmail.com)

See Reese Witherspoon do the Heinlein Maneuver. (seeker@vcoms.net) Seeker gets the Nebulous Award, for being the ONLY ONE to mention Heinlein!

From the invading troops, "Do you think if we walked in backwards the blondes would think we're leaving and not fire upon us?" (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

Young men from across the Universe are eagerly inducted into forming a futuristic fighting force against a race of giant female blonde lawyers. These little 'troopers' willingly come to the aid of their Universe before getting their heads bitten off by the GFBLs. It matters not that these horny boys died, as their heads were being swallowed whole, they died happy. (RasGold@aol.com)

A fleet of ships lands on an alien world carrying the brave troopers, followed by 3 fleets of stylists, trainers, and manacurists. (tpanner@hotmail.com) Ah, yes.... that would be "The 'B' Ark".

"Oooh....make it, like, So!" (sheafitz1@netscape.com)

A bunch of ditzes, charged with defending Earth against huge insectoids, plan their "raid": standing on a chair, screaming, and using hair spray as a weapon because that's all the bitches could find. (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com)

"No! Don't let that slug suck her brain. We can't allow the aliens an unfair preview of all the spring fashions." (tpanner@hotmail.com)

Just what we need.... another mindless sequel...

"OH, goody! We got the brain-bug, we got the brain-bug...ummm...what does it DO, exactly?" (paracletus3@earthlink.net)

Sorry, but Leslie Nielsen already capitalized on this concept...

Have gun, will babble... (paracletus3@earthlink.net)