(updated 18 Dec 02)
I believe this first one is more like a statement in fact, not really a whole story, but what the heck...it sums it up nicely...
Holiday shopping sucks. No, really. It does. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Once again Lisa had waited until almost the last minute to do her shopping but she wasn't worried. She got online and within minutes had bid on a live mouse for Cindy, then a live mouse for Linda, and finally one for Michelle also. Christmas shopping was a lot easier since she'd discovered Eek Bay. (SpinyNorma@aol.com)
Christmas shopping at K-Mart in the appliance department and must've touched a shorted wire. Wow..I lit up and couldn't let go and by the time they shut the power off, a crowd had gathered. I guess they thought I was the Blue Light Special. (Internutt9@aol.com)
"Sleigh bells ring..." the tune played on in the back of her mind. Then it came to Patty Hearst what to give for Christmas. For her friends, The Harris's, "S.L.A." bells! (email@example.com)
It was a miracle! There was no line, and I was able to take my items to the clerk right away! It really pays to do your gift returns before Christmas! (StanYan1@aol.com)
Wal-Mart and CVS have merged together for the holiday season. Valium is passed out to all the customers entering the shopping center. Sales are at an all time high, as are the smiling shoppers. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Phil had always thought if you really cared, you got out among the frenzied crowds shopping for presents personally and was therefore a little miffed when his brother Mike told him he'd found his gift on the internet and was having it shipped. When it arrived, however, Phil knew he would never again disparage cyber-shopping. He had never had a present he enjoyed as much as the 6 foot warrior beauty clad only in breastplates and a thong from Amazon.com. (SpinyNorma@aol.com)
Jessica saw a penny while holiday shopping and picked it up. Later, she saw another penny and picked it up. This gave her a smart feeling - she felt she had finally gotten some common cents. (email@example.com)
In the words of the annoying commercial in Robocop..."I'd buy that for a dollar!"...
Catching up on some last minute holiday shopping, I visited a place at the mall known as the "Everything's A Dollar" store. As I waited in the check-out aisle, I couldn't help but overhear a guy ask the clerk, "So..is it true that everything in here is just a dollar?" "Well, yes it is" answered the clerk, to which the man replied, "Well, then here's a dollar..give me everything!" (Internutt9@aol.com)