(updated 19 Jan 03)

Super Bowl Commercials

"We'll return to the Super Bowl after these commercial announcements on ABC." "Dudeyou'regettingaDelljointhePepsigenerationatBKyougotitPizzaHutmakinitgreatsoonerorlateryou'llownGeneralsmake7UpyoursTylernolalldaystrongalldaylong." "Before we return to the game, we'd like to thank John Moschitta Jr. for reading the sponsors' messages." (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

The frogs had enjoyed enormous popularity since their first Superbowl commercial and they thought their pop culture status meant it would continue forever. They arrived with their entourage to shoot the latest in the series only to be told the sponsor had decided to go another way and they wouldn't be needed anymore. Their time at the top was over and they left, sadder Budweiser. (SpinyNorma@aol.com)

The Super Bowl commercials get more incredible every year. Last year I saw one that featured twelve nude terpsichorean ecdysiasts wrestling huge snakes while covered in flaming Crisco oil and performing lewd acts on underage kangaroos for the Outback Steakhouse. The only thing that could be more incredible this year is if Tampa Bay wins. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

The winner who knows what game is really being played...

One lazy weekend afternoon, Debra was bored and began channel surfing. Much to her surprise, she found something full of wit and originality. Unfortunately, they kept interrupting every few minutes to show some stupid football game. (SpinyNorma@aol.com)