(updated 16 Jan 07)

Drek provided by Cad and Bucko


What?? No Love Boat entries at all? Geez...I know I'm not older than ALL of you...and don't pretend you've never watched an episode...I don't buy that one.

Prehistoric duct tape. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

The ungodly offspring of the crossbred mastodon and gopher. (stan@squidworks.com) This? Just way too easy. Try again.

What the Elephant Man says when asking for a knife and fork. (strontium901@juno.com)

The ancient Greek term for picking the nose. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

The word for someone who derives pleasure from walking and chewing gum at the same time. (changetion@gmail.com) Good for him! 'Cause nobody else is impressed.

Catholic services at the University of Minnesota (Go Golden Gophers). (skibip@aol.com)

It is the process of eating a rodent while trying to catch the 8:20 to Queens. (humorbear@aol.com)

A new rodent-type anime character with large buck teeth whose super powers are limited to burrowing holes in golf courses. (guitartexn@aol.com) You know...the sad thing is...this guy probably exists.

Someone who compulsively chews on gophers. (cdmauger@aol.com; stan@squidworks.com)

The expression on my face in the morning before I've had my fourth cup of coffee :) (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

Bite marks left on the thighs by an over-enthusiastic lover. (ReineDeDouleur@yahoo.com) I'm sorry, already! How was I to know my teeth would cut through the leather?

What teenage gophers do when they're alone in their bedroom late at night. (mr_sandmanx@hotmail.com; jaberwock@yahooy.com)

An annoying rodent that runs up and down the rigging of a sailing ship. (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com)

What the order taker at the local Mexican food take out place yells out to the short order cooks when Anne calls back to add more to her order. (luganrn77@yahoo.com) ....which frequently leads to....

A mouthful of non-American food that suddenly bursts into flame. (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com) Lesson: Do NOT order the "Tigos Grandes" at Pheugo Phil's.

One who follows the religion led by a mutant mastodon-gopher. (cdmauger@aol.com)

Martian song often requested on the red planet's airways: "Play Mastigorphan for me." (maxcel200@aol.com)

One less than a mastigophiven. (ReineDeDouleur@yahoo.com) You should be whipped for this one.

A huge probe used by veterinarians on large animals. (Usually only once). (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com)

A game cavemen played with their pet Mastodon to keep them out of the cave. i.e. Kinda like snipe hunting or a wild goose chase. (ubinrude@peoplepc.com) The Flintstones, right?

A sharp, upright pole on which you skewer rodents who are ruining your lawn. (strontium901@juno.com; NITRAMXXX@aol.com)

Condition of a large-headed hunting dog characterized by an urgent need to be taken out of doors for micturitional relief. (AuntShecky711@aol.com) MICTURITIONAL?? DAMMIT!! We were going to use that as the next word. Geez, you piss me off....

The process of how some rodents allegedly become blind. (maxcel200@aol.com)

I have a dozen "That's no mole, that's-" lines, & Cad won't let me use ANY of them...

That peculiar-looking mole on Britney Spears' bare-assed vagina. (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com)

Okay...well, this COULD be a Love Boat entry when I really think about it...I know I'd have enjoyed this episode...

A feeling of euphoria followed by an uncontrollable urge to run a dead gopher up a flagpole. (tpanner@hotmail.com)