(updated 17 Oct 05)

Hosted by Jankath

The time has come for DeFUNitions to be replaced by a whole other contest (we try to do this here in this slot once every three or so months)...so all those of you who have waited for this day...the time is near.  To all you who loved DeFUNitions...well, this gives you the opportunity to be very annoyed with us. What we want you to do is let us know which contest you want to see replace this one. We have done quite a few in the past...so we have quite a few to fall back on...or feel free to come up with a whole new contest you'd like to see Jankath host. Now I realize some of you are new to HMO and do not have any idea what some of the others were...so I have put up links to the past Rotating Contest archives (located below) so you can rummage thru them. Please send in your suggestions or votes as you would an entry via the entry link below.


Since it is spelled wrong, obviously not a t-hous but still may have something to do with the August moon. (maxcel200@aol.com)


Next Word:

(Suggested by NITRAMXXX@aol.com , who also didn't catch the misspelling)

This is what a farmer does when he has to go to the bathroom while feeding the pigs. (old.curmudgeon@hmoforum.com)

The Pennsylvanian-Dutch word for "out-house." (manpretty@gmail.com)

Having two sisters, two bathrooms, and nowhere to "go." (wedrixe@netscape.net)

The act of waking up still drunk in the middle of the night and mistaking the closet for the bathroom. (Eleman8859@aol.com)

The house of that mean old bitch who lives next door. (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com) I beg your pardon!? I do NOT live next door.

Off color expletive heard when a Dutchman is pissed off after a big poker hand and loses the whole ogna hous! (maxcel200@aol.com)

Joyful exclamation of Germans watching reruns of "The Andy Griffith Show" (rough translation: Opie in da hiz-ouse!) (MrglsJon@aol.com)

What most of the scaredy-cat warriors around Beowulf did when they saw Grendel for the 1st time. (paracletus3@earthlink.net)

What you call a situation when a very intoxicated Paul Hogan can't spell his name right and can't remember where he lives either. (kyzka2@yahoo.com.au)

It's the condition of how you feel when you've come home after a hard day's work to discover that you've married a pig. (kyzka2@yahoo.com.au) Didn't you learn from Brittney not to marry while you're drunk?

The opposite of being built like a brick $hithouse. That's stupid. I've never SEEN a brick $hithouse. (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com) That's 'cause the brick ones are all NORTH of the Mason/Dixon.

The difficulty in removing the bra of a very large Bavarian woman. (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com)

A sneeze so violent it causes you to lose control of your bladder. (tygrkhat40@yahoo.com)

The first word in an Ode to the home of an intoxicated grandmother who rides a Harley-Davidson. (sheafitz1@netscape.com)

Using a Colt .45 to reduce the mosquito population...and missing! (paracletus3@earthlink.net)

Oedipus' brother, who accidentally married his Aunt Eucalyptus. (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

An angry University of Arkansas alumni demands his double-wide back immediately. (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

Been there, done that (well, not really done THAT), but I do know the drinks are the LEAST of your worries:

Eggnog that was defiled during the 4th and final hour of the Office Christmas Party. (manpretty@gmail.com)