(updated 19 Apr 07)

The votes have been counted, the ideas have been considered and we have a new contest lined up.  Check below for more details.

Drek provided by Cad and Bucko

(Word sent in by AuntShecky711@aol.com)

The name of the mind-controlling brain parasite that Nolan Bushnell contracted which convinced him to sell Atari BEFORE the real video game boom. (Kamasushi@gmail.com)

Infectious slime left behind by rotting roses crawling across the floor. (tstrontium90@aol.com) If you're seeing roses crawling across the floor, then you're on more painkillers than I am. No fair!

Those rows of shredded flesh left by using an Epilady. (wedrixe@netscape.net)

The eastern European country whose major exports are tar and axes. (atwright73@yahoo.com) You're just making shit up, aren't you?

The state of total gross incoordination achieved by taking multiple anti-itch remedies and sedatives after being attacked by a swarm of killer ladybugs which cause a twitching, itching and bitching rash you-know-where and make you walk funny. (luganrn77@yahoo.com)

Suffocating on an Atari 2600 joystick (mikepena@verizon.net) Get out, you'd have to be deep-throating it to do- uh, never mind.

This is a French word meaning "Any Tar Found In The Daily Special Is A New Taste Sensation Our Chef Has Perfected. And Won the Black Ribbon Of The Year. (NITRAMXXX@aol.com) Sounds like one of Cad's "Epicurecipes".

A proud, divorced tarantula. (humorbear@aol.com)

Video games all night, all day until you're hospitalized for starvation. (ldolphin34@hotmail.com; jdcoops3@aol.com) Sounds like another Mediacrity news story. Nah; it's not crazy enough, and there's no sex involved. ;)

Strangling Tara Reid (mistahtom@aol.com) Take a number. Yes...we all would like to strangle her...but what's your entry?

A condition of the eyes that makes them partly cloudy with a chance of rain. (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

The eating disorder that killed off the dinosaurs. (williemelmoth@aol.com) Well, now that it's been nearly confirmed T-Rex and chickens are related...I guess you can derive that eating like a bird led to their extinction?

Ataraxia? A redneck asking if that dog is yours... (tainsam@aol.com)

The new retro version of Guitar Hero designed for the Atari 2600. (atwright73@yahoo.com) Okay, now I KNOW you're making shit up - nobody would invent a game THIS lame sounding. No? Then explain that Partridge Family game you're always playing. Hey, you promised you wouldn't tell!

The medical condition causing Gen Xer's to protest Atari 2600 games are still the best. (electronicwaffle@yahoo.com; archerjoe@hotmail.com)

The beginnings of carpal tunnel syndrome brought about by way too many hours of playing your Atari 2600. (Kamasushi@gmail.com) And it has NOTHING to do with all that viewing of Internet porn, huh?

The feeling of wishing that the witch with the fake boobs at the end of the bar would rot in hell. (wedrixe@netscape.net)

A rare psychological malady, brought on by listening to too much east Indian string music. (Airfarcewon@aol.com) I thought those were Shankar Sores? What are you talking about? That music is Ravi-shing. Norah't isn't. (Okay...I think we used up all the Ravi Shankar related puns without asking AirFarce and Maxcel to step in.)

Vomiting every time you are in the presence of a Pong machine. (e-marlon@sio.midco.net) Reference to Pong = Damn, you're old! Knowing what Pong is to KNOW he's old = old, TOO! ;)

1. From the 1970's -- The lack of muscle control caused by the endless use of never before used muscles when operating the Atari joystick. 2. The genetic reappearance of this condition in your children and grandchildren caused by incessant text messaging on a cell phone. (banks.del@gmail.com)

About this word "ataraxia"
I'd like to give all the facts to ya
but it makes my brain lean
I don't know what it means
maybe later, I'll brainstorm & get back to ya :) (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)
Cute. Wrong contest, but cute. Limericks?? As Daphne's prone to say..."EEEEEEEK!" ;)

It's one way to foreplay, but either way, I'd say nay...

The tire tracks left on a man's scrotum by running over them with a Vespa. (ReineDeDouleur@yahoo.com)

Also known as "Brokeout"...

A rare disease in which your budget has been so chronically slim for so long that you're still playing Atari. (SingleMingleNYC@aol.com)

Our new contest this time around was suggested by ReineDeDouleur@yahoo.com, and for doing so, she gets oh, a bunch of Rat's Asses or something we have lying around the house. We had several people suggest previous contests we've done before and then a couple others we'd rather try out at Tweak first because I think they might be better suited to be played there...plus it's always good to see the response there first.

We felt the one we're going with had a lot of playability, plus, who doesn't like to insult people? Well, even if you don't, you'll probably still be able to play, but if you're good at it...you just might love this one. I'm sure it can bring out the nasty streak in everyone and we're hoping it does.

So, without further ado and fanfare, I present to you..."Yo Mama".