(updated 21 Aug 05)

Hosted by Jankath

(Suggested by Nitramixx@aol.com)

I've just survived the first week of school, teaching something I haven't practiced in years. (No, not that.) So if I seem a little sarcastic, well........even the space shuttle has to cool down...

No word can be so obscenely heinous. So it's obvious you spelled it backwards..can't fool me! (maxcel200@aol.com)

The official trademarked logo for the Fusciouhipoppokunurious Eel. If you were anyone important in South America, you'd know that. (thedraugr@yahoo.com) Since YOU are important enough to know, you can just buy us all a round of the following:

A new alcoholic beverage featuring a baby eel, two shots of tequila, and a sprig of mint, followed by a Scotch chaser. (e-marlon@sio.midco.net) It's the Scotch chaser I'm most interested in. How tall is he?..........or is that Scottish? Nevermind..........just make mine a double.

Ok, I've had it... where's the freakin' pronunciation key? (jsalava@charter.net) Well, if you've had it, I guess you were the last to see it. Go stand in the corner.

Can you use it in a sentence please? (redcherri817@yahoo.com) Sure. 'It' is too damned long till spring break.

The bastard offspring of eels and hippos. (manpretty@gmail.com, Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Adjective created by, and referring to, the random things that chimpanzees write by pounding on a typewriter keyboard. (skibip@aol.com) You're the only one who figured out my little secret.

Swahili word for the phrase 'Leggo my Eggo' (thedraugr@yahoo.com)

Being ticked off because you cannot afford clothes like Puff Daddy's purple eel logo pimp shirt (jsalava@charter.net)

It is a term that describes a hippopotamus that thought it was gay but found out it was only curious. (fparsons@yahoo.com)

A Hawaiian word describing the color of the bright red spray that shoots from a surfer's head when he flies into exposed reef coral. (stan@squidworks.com)

An unusual word that desperate writers use when they're getting paid by the length of the column they're writing and not by how "good" it is: "His column was not very Eellogofusciouhipoppokunurious, but it filled up the page." (dorr@jam.rr.com)

The technical name for the sound of a badly-tuned bagpipe. (tygrkhat40@yahoo.com) Can't compare to thirty 6th graders on violins. Trust me on this.

It's what you get when you mix a curious fuchsia elephant and a hippopotamus. (watch4whales@yahoo.com)

This is a eulogy for a hippopotamus that choked on an unpopped popcorn kernel. (nstn@statefarm.com)

A Greek dish made of fish, garlic, and grape leaves traditionally dined upon after a night of orgies and Roger Moore films. (manpretty@gmail.com)

What Prince said when asked if he might be interested in pursuing a career as a Hip Hop artist after the success of "Purple Rain". (HerzogVon@aol.com)

This is the scientific name I gave to the discovery of a rare Hippo on my trip to Africa. It means: "How in the hell was I dragged into this awful experience while still sober." (NITRAMXXX@aol.com)

Jiminy Cricket trying to sing the ENCYCLOPEDIA song on the Mickey Mouse Club, soused. (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

Yes, all the drinking entries place this week. But never mix teaching, drinking, and this:

A common medical condition characterized by the acute onset of simultaneous hiccupping and diarrhea, usually after having eaten an excessive amount of day-old eel sushi. (MedCheryl@aol.com)

I encourage you guys to enter definitions for readers to invent words to match.