(updated 4 Oct 05)

Hosted by Jankath

(Suggested by mikepena@verizon.net)

Getting plastic surgery on your uvulopalatopharyngo, of course! (jnmcda0@yahoo.com)

The only way to get Mary Poppins to shut up! (HerzogVon@aol.com)

The surgical procedure to disengage a couple stuck in oral sex. (skibip@aol.com)

Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Surgery (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)

Something I don't understand but the mechanic insists my car needs. (tainsam@aol.com)

A rhinoplasty that takes your uvula, surgically removes it from your soft palate, and attaches it to your nose, making you look like Jimmy Durante. (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

Tonsil hockey (Shadowpet1704@aol.com)

Plastic surgery for yodelers (AuntShecky711@aol.com)

Getting your nose and your...uh...lips...done at the same time! (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

What Uva, er, Uma Thurman had to go through before she could start slaughtering all those people in "Kill Bill: Vol.1" (btw - If you accept my "Kill Bill" answer, I promise to.....) (HerzogVon@aol.com) You don't need to know the rest, but I'm counting on a quick payoff...

According to top medical experts, this is the only process available which might give Donald Trump a decent hair style. (pjb1671@yahoo.com)

Plastic surgery to have a condom permanently implanted in a woman's throat. (guitartexn@aol.com)

The unique and extremely complicated sex change operation which transformed a certain former member of the Fab Four to the latest gorgeous country singer, Belle Starr. (globalview1@aol.com)

The word for what women over the age of 60 really should get before visiting a nude beach. (Kamasushi@gmail.com)

Expensive surgery your doctor recommended when all you really needed was a breath mint. (customerwaller@cox.net)

The surgical procedure you perform on the neighbor's dog when faced with its incessant barking at 3 a.m. (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com)

Medical term for Gene Simmons tongue (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

What would be needed if Michael Jackson tried to sing today! (kyzka2@yahoo.com.au)

When the Ob/Gen nurse gets transferred to emergency, and uses whatever's handy to take a throat culture: otherwise known as 'Deepest Throat'! (paracletus3@earthlink.net)

Where "dangling participles" swing from... (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

The medical procedure for removing small flying insects imbedded in the back of a bicyclist's throat. (parlansharvest@yahoo.com)

It's a type of elective surgery that health insurance won't cover so you go to a Central American "hospital" where it costs thousands less but for some reason involves a rubber hose, a spatula and three rolls of duct tape. (parlansharvest@yahoo.com)

I'm not sure what it is, but I think Joan Rivers has had it done twice. (parlansharvest@yahoo.com)

Not unless you put some time and effort int.........zzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........crap, where's my book?

Probably another female body part that needs to be stimulated. Sheesh. Will these things never end? (old.curmudgeon@hmorofum.com)