(Updated 23 Sep 07)

The URL:

Cruzin Cooler
(Site suggested by archerjoe@hotmail.com)

If you can't look cool, you might as well be cool. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

Reduces drinking and driving to its simplest terms! (rod.renner@juno.com)

You can even put food in it. (timamod@aol.com) Why would you waste precious beer space to do that???

If only Foster Brooks could've lived long enough for this... (gerg17@comcast.net)

Isn't it my luck something better comes out after I buy it. I wonder if my dog scooter could address these cooler needs as well? (davidgotribe@aol.com)

Redneck Segway. (tygrkhat40@yahoo.com)

Butt wait! There's more, for a limited time only you get the Cruzin' Crapper! Butt act now, supplies are limited. (imwednesdayaddams@yahoo.com) Don't give them any ideas!

That's all well and good, but where's the little Port-a-Potty I can pull behind it? (jdcoops3@aol.com; luganrn77@yahoo.com) I SAID don't give them any ideas!

Not only am I a drunk... I'm a lazy drunk! No more walking around with a beer in my hand. No siree! Have beer will travel! (KittysKorner70@aol.com)

As an added benefit, Men with low sperm counts report a 19% increase in sperm from keeping the scrotum cooler. (Dspur57098@aol.com)

"Cause you still need transportation when they confiscate your keys." (stan@squidworks.com)

I guess if you're cruzin' for alcoholic chicks... (e-marlon@sio.midco.net) What do you mean "IF"??

Aftermarket links? Oh sure, 'cus it'll be kinda pricey to replace that dented Wal-Mart ice chest lid with one direct from the manufacturer. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

As seen in the movie that is sweeping the nation - "Lazy Rider". (robertellingsworth@yahoo.com)

Coming soon - Cruzin' Propane Grill! (tpanner@hotmail.com) Isn't that called "tailgating"?

The rest of you can make jokes all you want. Me, I'm ordering the one with the Lone Star bikini chick!! (skibip@aol.com)

Nothin' says "badass" like a camouflage cover for your motorized ice chest. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

I'm gonna affix one of those go-cart orange flag doohickies on mine - so my family can spot me in the crowd...

Coming to a county fair near you. (ponytayl@cox.net)