This was one of the best bunch of entries I've seen at Dot.Comedy for quite some time...you guys came up with some really great ones...it was difficult to pick only one winner.
"See, ossifer? It's safe for me to drink & drive (hic!)" (LouMizzou@yahoo.com)
Yes, but why would you buy a thermal can insulator, use it once and then throw it away? (firstname.lastname@example.org)
I bet it slips off once the can is empty. (email@example.com)
Now, if I used the Candom to keep my beer cool while driving home...does that qualify as driving safely? (firstname.lastname@example.org) LouMizzou isn't, by any chance, your designated driver...is he?
Even this won't make Fresca safe to drink. (ReineDeDouleur@yahoo.com)
I kid you not, at school there was a fella they called "Soup Can" because he bragged about his - ah - "girth." FINALLY there's a product for him. (email@example.com)
As wide as a soda can? Finally, they've made one that may fit me! (LouMizzou@yahoo.com) Hey, did you go to school with anyone named Kirsten?
HEY, I'd like a couple of those for a nice set of cans I have! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Unesscesary...I set up a hidden camera and not once did my Dr. Pepper try to f*ck my Mr. Pibb. (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)
Now available, the "Red Bull" Candom....it will keep you sexually active for hours. (email@example.com)
The only problem is that when you start putting condoms on soda cans, you create expectations in women most guys just can't live up to. (firstname.lastname@example.org) Right...like you men ever live up to ANY of our expectations! ;)
We should have had something like this years ago, when we played "Kick The Can"..then we wouldn't have had to worry about knocking one up. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
"Hey, this root beer tastes funny....Are you sure you used a Candom?" (email@example.com) It's root beer - it doesn't need anything in it to make it taste funny. Bleccch!
Get ready to be blown to Candom cu... ah, forget it. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Nothing like a nice head on a cold beer. (email@example.com)
New slogan: Don't just guzzle at random, use a Candom. (Airfarcewon@aol.com) Sure, just give them a better slogan than they have already. And did I mention for free?
Because we all know salmonella is going to hit soft drinks next! (firstname.lastname@example.org) Just V8.
I get it...being more cautious with our can teaches us to be more cautious with hers. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
I don't know why, but I'm suddenly appalled at the foam in my beer. (email@example.com) Is it ROOT beer by any chance? Did I mention that I think root beer tastes horrid?
I put that on my beer and I still got her pregnant. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
It's about time that somebody came up with a way to laugh more during sex. (WJKbase@aol.com)
I wonder if they have gas pump shaped ones too. That's where I've been getting fucked lately. (email@example.com)
Well...better that they be proenvironmental than procreating...
Great, now all the stupid horny teenagers will be recycling condoms. (firstname.lastname@example.org)