(Updated 4 Jul 06)

The URL:

The T.W.I.N.K.I.E.S. Project
(Suggested by MistahTom@aol.com)

Gee, I'm so glad I sent that thousand dollar grant to Rice University. (MissusMikeyD@aol.com)

The most disturbing results of the Twinkie experiments were the high-pitched screams coming from the Twinkies themselves. (tpanner@hotmail.com) PETA would investigate...but they are too busy yanking them out of whale blow-holes.

You'd think the students at Rice University would've at least used Rice Krispie Treats. (cdmauger@aol.com)

A link to this website: the perfect Hostess gift. (skibip@aol.com)

I always knew R.I.C.E. University stood for Really Inane Cake Experiments. (maxcel200@aol.com)

Just reading this made me go get 2 graham crackers, part of a Hershey bar, a marshmallow and a match ... damn you!!! (luganrn77@yahoo.com)

Incredibly, there ARE people more stupid than these guys: They buy & eat DEEP FRIED TWINKIES at the County Fair. (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com)

Twinkies: The WD-40 of snack foods! (rod.renner@juno.com)

Rice University? There's no rice in Twinkies. (tphyll@aol.com)

Instead of a cowboy hat, Twinkie the Kid should be sporting a nice healthy bite taken out of the top of his head. (tpanner@hotmail.com) Maybe that's why he's wearing the hat?

If there's so much petroleum products in Twinkies, I say we harvest their fuel potential and send the cartels packin'. (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

They're forgetting the all important, "Is Your Penis Longer Than A Twinkie", test. (tpanner@hotmail.com) Is that before or after the experiments?

Somebody should check to see if the Twinkie wrapper and the primary ingredients are the same. (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

This guy's mom undoubtedly performed the "Gravitational Response Test" on his head when he was young. (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)

OK, Mom, you were right- junk food DOES rot your brain. (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

Notice that nobody involved was willing to eat the things. (rampage1984@msn.com; tpanner@hotmail.com)

This site may also answer why your kid just isn't cut out for sports. (vinyllover45@yahoo.com)

I see they've implemented the Bush "Science Education" initiative. (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com; CoyPsyche@aol.com)

They forgot the "consumption to ass density ratio", that's just basic science, people. (j_perreaux@hotmail.com)

Rice University...let's see...Saki is made of rice, right?...

"Try these 'wholesome experiments'..." Oh, the delicious irony! (tpanner@hotmail.com)