(Updated 7 Feb 08)

The URL:

Stool Gauge Bodily Function Comparison Gauge

Don't worry if these stools make you puke...we have a gauge for that too! (maxcel20@aol.com)

I knew that would be disgusting before I clicked. (e-merlin001@hotmail.com)

Man, this shit has been taking FOREVER!!! (luganrn77@yahoo.com) Yeah, I know...keep your pants on!

Now, not only will you be able to prove that someone is full of shit, but you will also be able to say exactly which kind! (GerriHan65@aol.com)

This would surely help a family get all its 'crap' together. (WJKbase@aol.com)

It just goes to show you, you can buy all kinds of sh%# on the Internet. (shep@compascable.net) ...and once you get it...

Yes! I knew there was a better way to organize my s**t! (yukimerricoon@aol.com)

Recommended by Dr. Demento. (retrometro@rogers.com)

"Sorry - limit 1 per household: Sorry, you can only piss off one relative at Christmas." (warren@jayhawkwds.com)

Who's the bitch who invented this? I'll sue 'ER! (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

This is he most vial thing I've seen in a long time! (maxcel200@aol.com)

I'm sorry, I'm not paying good money for that shit (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com) Talk about throwing money down the drain.

Has your mother in law been hinting at a new spice rack for Christmas? (Truckerex@insightbb.com; DavidGoTribe@aol.com)

Limit one per household? If I can't have one in the kitchen AND the dining room, then forget it! (shep@compascable.net)

We're #1 with #2. (gerg17@comcast.net) What?? No one came in turd...er...oh forget it.

Wonder if this will help when trying to gauge what kind of shit the presidential candidates are full of? (saxonraerae7@aol.com)

Isn't this getting a little anal about health care? (tpanner@hotmail.com)

Stool Gauge? I think I'll 'pass'. (ponytayl@cox.net)

Hmm. I don't see "bloody" anywhere on this gauge. I guess I'm o.k. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

An obvious outcome of too many drinks at a frat party. (guitartexn@aol.com) Beer glasses or beer asses...you be the judge.

This is actually old stuff...diagnosis by a a process of elimination. (maxcel200@aol.com)

Hypochondriacs everywhere are flush with excitement! (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

Now you can diagnose your ailments with our doo-doo-it-yourself kit. (maxcel200@aol.com)

Warning: Keep away from fans. (NYGeezer@aol.com)

Hey, you can't include all those trips to Taco Bell in there...no wonder you got an ass...tronomical figure...

According to this website the city owes me about $4 million in wasted revenue. (mitchwatts@yahoo.com)