(updated 18 Sep 04)

URL: LifeGem
(URL provided by Mistahtom@aol.com)

Win one in our "dead give away' raffle. (maxcel200@aol.com)

Give it to your fiancee and tell her it was your grandmother's...NO, LITERALLY! (VxAnthraX@aol.com)

The perfect burial plan for your favorite hard-ass! (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com)

"Diamond or Zirconia?" "Grandma." (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

Don't forget to ask for the mood ring option, so you'll know exactly how your loved one is feeling in their afterlife. (Davidgotribe@aol.com)

Now your loved ones can look better than they ever did in life. (Rabdreadr@aol.com)

So you can always treasure that sparkle in her eyes. (dorr@jam.rr.com)

Redefining the statement, "My husband is such a gem!" (arch_deceiver@hotmail.com)

The easy, affordable way to discreetly dispose of the body. (deweyever@attbi.com) So that's why you kiss the Mafia guy's ring...NOW I get it.

A high priced phony both in life and death. (WJKbase@aol.com)

".....I wear dead people......." (BoyWonder1911@yahoo.com)

When choosing a diamond remember the 5 C's: Cut, Color, Carat, Clarity and CARRION (imwednesdayaddams@yahoo.com)

We know you thought they were a pain in the ass in life, but now you know they were just a "diamond in the rough." (stan@squidworks.com)

Life Gem: Another piece of jewelry the family gets to fight over when you are dead: YOU! (marymarg27608@yahoo.com)

For those with a burning desire for a diamond. (skibip@aol.com)

"That's the ONLY way my mother-in-law will ever be worth something." (crayzeeaj@hotmail.com)

This wouldn't have had to happen if you had only gone to our Quantum Sleeper link! (maxcel200@aol.com) Which also doubles nicely as a jewelry box.

Life Gem: Diamonds are a girl's best friend...in fact, this one was my best friend. (tygrkhat40@yahoo.com; william.fishburne@verizon.net)

"Sparkles great...smells like rotting flesh!" (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

Looks like cos-tomb jewelry to me. (robtone247@yahoo.com) Okay, I think this is our new "pun of the year" winner so far.

...kinda puts a whole new meaning to the phrase 'family jewels'. (ehross@aol.com; Airfarcewon@aol.com)

One way or another... you're going to GET that diamond ring from him! (MooseSpeak@netscape.net)

The eternal way to give your spouse the finger. (JOSQUARD@aol.com)

I think this site would do well with a "Before and After" link. (arch_deceiver@hotmail.com) "He had so many flaws in life...but look at him now!"

*ring* *ring* "Hello! Life Gems, Veronica speaking!" me: "Uhhhhh, hi, I'd like to place an order for my, uh, loved one." "Of course, Ma'am when did the person in mind pass on?" me: "Oh! They have to be dead(!) first?!" (SMRbear1@aol.com)

"Whoa. Looks like that ring cost somebody an arm and a leg!" (robtone247@yahoo.com; colie7922@aol.com)

"I wouldn't be caught dead wearing one of these!" (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

"A kiss on the hand may be quite continental, but dying is a girl's best friend...!" (cmndrnineveh@aol.com) Somewhere Anita Loos is either laughing or waiting for you to get there.

At last! She's wrapped around my finger. (seeker@vcoms.net)

"That Hubert wore me out for forty years. Now I get to return the favor." (khalazdad@adelphia.net)

Not a clone... just a carbon copy. (maxcel200@aol.com)

Well, he always did love da"Beers"...

He was always stoned anyway, so what better tribute? (Airfarcewon@aol.com)