(updated 18 Sep 04)
(URL provided by Mistahtom@aol.com)
Win one in our "dead give away' raffle. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Give it to your fiancee and tell her it was your grandmother's...NO, LITERALLY! (VxAnthraX@aol.com)
The perfect burial plan for your favorite hard-ass! (email@example.com)
"Diamond or Zirconia?" "Grandma." (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Don't forget to ask for the mood ring option, so you'll know exactly how your loved one is feeling in their afterlife. (Davidgotribe@aol.com)
Now your loved ones can look better than they ever did in life. (Rabdreadr@aol.com)
So you can always treasure that sparkle in her eyes. (email@example.com)
Redefining the statement, "My husband is such a gem!" (firstname.lastname@example.org)
The easy, affordable way to discreetly dispose of the body. (email@example.com) So that's why you kiss the Mafia guy's ring...NOW I get it.
A high priced phony both in life and death. (WJKbase@aol.com)
".....I wear dead people......." (BoyWonder1911@yahoo.com)
When choosing a diamond remember the 5 C's: Cut, Color, Carat, Clarity and CARRION (firstname.lastname@example.org)
We know you thought they were a pain in the ass in life, but now you know they were just a "diamond in the rough." (email@example.com)
Life Gem: Another piece of jewelry the family gets to fight over when you are dead: YOU! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
For those with a burning desire for a diamond. (email@example.com)
"That's the ONLY way my mother-in-law will ever be worth something." (firstname.lastname@example.org)
This wouldn't have had to happen if you had only gone to our Quantum Sleeper link! (email@example.com) Which also doubles nicely as a jewelry box.
Life Gem: Diamonds are a girl's best friend...in fact, this one was my best friend. (firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com)
"Sparkles great...smells like rotting flesh!" (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Looks like cos-tomb jewelry to me. (email@example.com) Okay, I think this is our new "pun of the year" winner so far.
...kinda puts a whole new meaning to the phrase 'family jewels'. (firstname.lastname@example.org; Airfarcewon@aol.com)
One way or another... you're going to GET that diamond ring from him! (MooseSpeak@netscape.net)
The eternal way to give your spouse the finger. (JOSQUARD@aol.com)
I think this site would do well with a "Before and After" link. (email@example.com) "He had so many flaws in life...but look at him now!"
*ring* *ring* "Hello! Life Gems, Veronica speaking!" me: "Uhhhhh, hi, I'd like to place an order for my, uh, loved one." "Of course, Ma'am when did the person in mind pass on?" me: "Oh! They have to be dead(!) first?!" (SMRbear1@aol.com)
"Whoa. Looks like that ring cost somebody an arm and a leg!" (firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com)
"I wouldn't be caught dead wearing one of these!" (firstname.lastname@example.org)
"A kiss on the hand may be quite continental, but dying is a girl's best friend...!" (email@example.com) Somewhere Anita Loos is either laughing or waiting for you to get there.
At last! She's wrapped around my finger. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
"That Hubert wore me out for forty years. Now I get to return the favor." (email@example.com)
Not a clone... just a carbon copy. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Well, he always did love da"Beers"...
He was always stoned anyway, so what better tribute? (Airfarcewon@aol.com)