(updated 27 Dec 04)

URL: Alex Chiu's External Life Device

Why doesn't this come with a life-time guarantee?? (bjjtoff@tds.net)

My wife is buying the foot braces. Not so much for the eternal life, but to inflict some damage when she kicks me for snoring! (MrglsJon@aol.com)

So that's Dick Clark's secret! (Ringo@illuSchoen.net)

Something tells me the kind of people who buy these things have "foot bracelets" that beep someone when they leave their house... (dangerwulf@aol.com)

Good News: Live Forever; Bad News: Watch all of those Infomercials for eternity. (electronicwaffle@yahoo.com)

"Now it's the only 'jewelry' Elizabeth Taylor wears!" (BRE727@aol.com)

Alex Chiu's mother is so proud of him, she stuck him to the refrigerator door and shows him off to family, friends and neighbors whenever they stop by. (nonomposmentiss@aol.com)

Cure handicaps? How about really poor judgment? (tpanner@inorbit.com) I think that's a typo - it's supposed to read "hiccups".

My wife has a set now I can jump start my car by attaching the (-) cable to her toes and the (+) cable to her fingers. Thanks to Alex Chiu I don't need AAA any longer. (richdiandkids@optonline.net)

I think the last line should really read: "Please consult your doctor if you buy this device...you may have had an illegal lobotomy performed on you." (JOSQUARD@aol.com)

Scoff if you must but it works! Alex Chiu invented the process 5 years ago and he has still not died in all these years. If that is not enough proof of immortality, what (I ask) is? (madavis62@alltel.net)

That guy needs to get a life! (jajuta@comcast.net)

Take a close look at that emblem. Now we know what happened when "They Saved Hitler's Brain"! (HerzogVon@aol.com)

Hmmm. Patent number 5,989,178. I believe this is definitive proof the U.S. Government is also crazy! (Ringo@illuSchoen.net)

San Francisco, CA (AP) - A resident of San Francisco was found dead in downtown under unusual circumstances. The victim, Alex Chiu, mysteriously had his head lopped off by a sword-wielding Scottish man in a kilt, who immediately afterward was surrounded by a huge electricity surge, according to witnesses. (JOSQUARD@aol.com) NOW that sparky effect makes sense...that positive/negative thing and all.

Dear Alex: "If I'm going to live forever can I still have my mid-life crisis?" John, Detroit, Michigan (maxcel200@aol.com)

"Hey kids, order now and get a 12 pack of Marlboros absolutely free! What do you care, you're living forever." (tpanner@inorbit.com)

Patent pretending. (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

That's nothing...I have a ring that makes something ELSE last forever... (BoyWonder1911@yahoo,com)

They don't warn you about the irreversible cerebral side effects from wearing them, tho...

"I am not one of those stupid moron who don't know what I am doing." Thankfully he'll have plenty of time for English lessons. (jajuta@comcast.net)