(updated 31 Jan 05)
$29 for an origami boulder? Hell, I can get the same thing at HMO for 8,000 rats asses (email@example.com)
Finally, a job opportunity for failed art school graduates. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Gee, such a limited selection. I hate being stuck between a rock and a haiku place... (email@example.com)
Alex, step aside, there is a new paper folder in town. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
3-5 days (and $30) later... "Damnit. It really was real!" (email@example.com) Gotta wonder if he ever crumples one up because it's just not good enough.
I was a skeptic at first but once I saw the beautiful bamboo stand it came with I bought one for every member of my family. (SPTirish@aol.com)
Dear Origami Boulder Company: I have a collector's item you may be interested in...an authentic origami boulder with poetry from the originator of this concept, Henry WADSworth Longfellow. It's yours for $50.00 dumb dumb. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Oh My God! I emptied my waste basket and threw away a fortune! (Airfarcewon@aol.com; DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)
Wad a Rip off! (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
He forgot to mention, can also be used to play popular game..Paper Rock Scissors (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
Most come with a surprise in the center...an already been chewed piece of gum. (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)
It's tough to joke about a website that is already a pretty good piece of obvious comedy writing as it is. (email@example.com)
I Never buy Art without a Certificate of Authenticity. (firstname.lastname@example.org) Um...dumb dumb...it's right in there with the Haiku.
Such creativity in the folding....such workmanship in the creasing...Only the DASH Paper Display Co. could bring you these BOULDERS! (email@example.com)
Gentlemen: This looks a lot like the snot boulder I was about to purchase at another site for $20,000. Wow, thanks for the savings!! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
No dumb dumb of course this is wasting beer drinking time. (email@example.com) Not to mention beer drinking money.
Dear Origami Boulder Company: Can I have two origamis for the price of one...I'm a real tight wad. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
The way haiku sucks, of COURSE having it on the INSIDE will raise the value of each piece! (email@example.com)
Sorry, we ran out of photos of the Loch Ness Monster, Yeti and Michael Jackson with a woman his age...
Order now, and get a free wadded up picture of the Brooklyn Bridge! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Well, we've thought long and hard...well, you know - as much as we usually do around here at HMO...and decided instead of rehashing another contest...or even trying one out at Tweak Of The Week...we'd jump right into a new one. We were "inspired" by a contest that used to be at www.RevolutionSF.com - but it seems like our old friend, Joe Crowe, isn't doing that one anymore (at least I couldn't find it)...but he said long ago that I could use it, but with the stipulation I say that I got the idea from there...so I'm fulfilling his request. What the premise is...is that we take any person from the past or present...real or fictional...and give them a scenario to be in. You say something funny based on that person/scenario...whether it's the person saying it, the people he bumps into, just as an outside observer...whatever you think would work. Of course, as usual, the funnier, wittier, off-the-wall it is...the better. We have no examples to give you, so you'll have to wing it this time around. Hopefully the new one we've given below pretty much set up the "punchline" for you...so just think of anything that springs to mind. As usual, we welcome your suggestions for new topics. Lastly, we need a name for this contest, as I don't remember what Joe called his - but it's also our version we're doing and not so much "sci-fi" inspired as they did there. If we choose your contest name, we'll give you 50 Rat's Asses. Keep in mind this is where you'd send both your entries and your contest names at.