(updated 11 Jan 04)

You might be from a small town if...
(Topic suggested by MedCheryl@aol.com)

...you have to start an online humor site to meet people. (polaris75@aol.com) Always a smartass in the bunch...and just for the record, I've met a grand total of one person so far.

...hanging out at the local mall entails a three hour drive. (HerzogVon@aol.com)

...all the roads are unpaved and named after members of your extended family. (lynder_mh@yahoo.com)

...your idea of "Dinner and a Movie" consists of a trip to Blockbuster and a Swanson's Hungry Man. (kamasushi@aol.com)

...the "You are now entering..." and the "You are now leaving..." are on the same sign. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com; jamesmon2000@hotmail.com)

...whenever there is a birth in town, Johnny goes out and updates the population total at the town limits. (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

...there are only 31 Starbucks cafes. (tainsam@aol.com) Hey, believe it or not, Montgomery here is just getting its first.

...rather than hearing of school closures via radio or TV, the principal actually calls your home. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

...town meetings are held on your front porch. (missinmayberry@aol.com)

...the big headline in your school newspaper reads, "Finally! Doors on the bathroom stalls!!" (howardtheduck86@yahoo.com) More surprising still is the fact you even have a school newspaper.

...you know the name of everyone's pet. (BPaul317@aol.com)

...you are the top 10% of your class. (lynder_mh@yahoo.com)

...you have one "4-way Stop" and people STILL can't figure out who goes first. (Aubrietta3@hotmail.com)

...the biggest annual event involves the throwing or "tossing" of anything!! (odatopt@aol.com)

...Friday night "boys being boys" is knocking over buggies in the Kroger Parking lot.... (wtlegis@yahoo.com) And for a REALLY great time, you squeeze yourself into one of those "Win a Stuffed Toy" machines they have inside. (Yeah...I read the story today, too.)

...when somebody talks about having a dish on their roof it's 'cause a squirrel took it up there after finishing the pie that was cooling on the windowsill. (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

...you buy groceries and live bait at the same place. (dzed68@yahoo.com)

...you write a song where you refer to your small town as a small town 18 times. (ich2o@aol.com)

...every time you meet someone from NYC you say "Oh, you must know my cousin Jim Bob, he moved there last year". (astae@paonline.com)

Okay...fess up, you DO drive by this each day, don't you?...

...you have to drive by that billboard that says "Home of the World's Largest Cantaloupe Since 1966." (Patterson8040@aol.com)