(updated 11 Jan 04)
You might be from a small town if...
(Topic suggested by MedCheryl@aol.com)
...you have to start an online humor site to meet people. (email@example.com) Always a smartass in the bunch...and just for the record, I've met a grand total of one person so far.
...hanging out at the local mall entails a three hour drive. (HerzogVon@aol.com)
...all the roads are unpaved and named after members of your extended family. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
...your idea of "Dinner and a Movie" consists of a trip to Blockbuster and a Swanson's Hungry Man. (email@example.com)
...the "You are now entering..." and the "You are now leaving..." are on the same sign. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com; firstname.lastname@example.org)
...whenever there is a birth in town, Johnny goes out and updates the population total at the town limits. (email@example.com)
...there are only 31 Starbucks cafes. (firstname.lastname@example.org) Hey, believe it or not, Montgomery here is just getting its first.
...rather than hearing of school closures via radio or TV, the principal actually calls your home. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)
...town meetings are held on your front porch. (email@example.com)
...the big headline in your school newspaper reads, "Finally! Doors on the bathroom stalls!!" (firstname.lastname@example.org) More surprising still is the fact you even have a school newspaper.
...you know the name of everyone's pet. (BPaul317@aol.com)
...you are the top 10% of your class. (email@example.com)
...you have one "4-way Stop" and people STILL can't figure out who goes first. (Aubrietta3@hotmail.com)
...the biggest annual event involves the throwing or "tossing" of anything!! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
...Friday night "boys being boys" is knocking over buggies in the Kroger Parking lot.... (email@example.com) And for a REALLY great time, you squeeze yourself into one of those "Win a Stuffed Toy" machines they have inside. (Yeah...I read the story today, too.)
...when somebody talks about having a dish on their roof it's 'cause a squirrel took it up there after finishing the pie that was cooling on the windowsill. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
...you buy groceries and live bait at the same place. (email@example.com)
...you write a song where you refer to your small town as a small town 18 times. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
...every time you meet someone from NYC you say "Oh, you must know my cousin Jim Bob, he moved there last year". (email@example.com)
Okay...fess up, you DO drive by this each day, don't you?...
...you have to drive by that billboard that says "Home of the World's Largest Cantaloupe Since 1966." (Patterson8040@aol.com)