(updated 12 Feb 04)
You might be addicted to sports if...
...while having sex with your girlfriend you always say "he shoots he scores!!" (email@example.com)
...prolonged viewing of televised sporting events has led to chronic case of athlete's butt. (HerzogVon@aol.com)
...your buddies invite you to a strip club but you pass because water polo is on!! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
...you bought a Freightliner Semi to tailgate with. (email@example.com)
...you slam dunk your doughnuts in coffee. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
...you assume a sports personality identity in your email. (firstname.lastname@example.org) Damn! So, I guess a million dollar donation to HMO is out of the question??
...you subscribe to the curling channel. (email@example.com)
...you reschedule your emergency appendectomy because " DUH, its the Super Bowl!?" (firstname.lastname@example.org)
...you time your self at the self-serve island to see if you're faster than the other customers!!! (email@example.com)
...you pay for your wife's Orgasmatron. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
...you know there's a professional soccer league in the USA. (email@example.com)
...if you start sex with "On your marks..." (firstname.lastname@example.org) Bet I know who "wins" each time here.
...you started a fantasy bowling league. (email@example.com)
...your children know you're home when they hear you yelling at the television set. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
...your boss keeps reminding you that your "Football Face-Paint" is inappropriate for "Casual Fridays". (email@example.com)
...you have ANY idea what's going on in Australian Rules Football. (firstname.lastname@example.org) Rules?? Surely you jest.
...the funeral parlor director finally insists on taking the batteries from your pocket TV after three warnings. (RWich928@aol.com)
...you ask about the football pool in your job interview. (MindgameFiziks@hotmail.com)
...Janet did WHAT? (NodMyChin@sbcglobal.net)
Float like a butterfly...Sting like...uh...a sword?...
...you went to "Lord Of The Rings" expecting a boxing saga. (email@example.com)