(updated 1 Jun 04)

I'll get the "No No's" title up here eventually...so for the time being you'll have to pretend it's there.

Things Not To Say and/or Do At An Orgy
(Topic suggested by william.fishburne@verizon.net)

Invite your local chapter of Abstinence Anonymous. (candaceelder2002@yahoo.com)

Reveal you're a moil. (Cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

For God's sake, don't lose a contact lens. (tainsam@aol.com; Pmacca01@go.com)

Point and laugh. (DOrr@jam.rr.com)

"Soooooo....you come here often?" (chharget@aol.com; Mistahtom@aol.com)

"Just go ahead and start by yourself until everyone else shows up." (Cantw82paint@Aol.com) Actually, I believe this may be a requirement.

"Aw go ahead, pull my finger!" (skibip@aol.com; missinmayberry@aol.com)

"Don't worry, it's only computers that are getting viruses these days." (maxcel200@aol.com)

"Reverend Johnson? Is that you?" (chharget@aol.com)

"I've got a headache." (ROBERTELLINGSWORTH@YAHOO.COM; ubinrude@peoplepc.com)

"Whohoo...hey, Mom when's Grandpa coming?" (Elemskt91@aol.com) I would say something, but I don't want to deal with the dry heaves it would bring on.

Don't be the first one to "arrive". This is one part that it's O.K. to be fashionably "late". (guitartexn@aol.com)

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" (mwatts@nhbakersfield.com)

"Now, WHERE did I stick that remote?" (bam@facetiousrock.com)

"Anyone for a game of charades?" (murdoctor@aol.com) "Geez...not, 'North By Northwest' again!!" (Ironically, I hadn't a clue this film was on TMC tonite...so it was a really bizarre coincidence...that no one but me would even remotely care about...carry on.)

"Woo hoo! Child support's on me!" (robtone247@yahoo.com)

"Bottom's up!" (RasGold@cox.net)

Refer to it as an, "All-You-Can-Eat Buttfet?" (chharget@aol.com)

"Hi, I sell Amway." (witsend@sevinex.com; guitartexn@aol.com)

"Here I am! Nearly rash-free and ready to party!" (napwalker@aol.com)

Never say, "May I cut in" in the S&M room. (chharget@aol.com)

"This takes me back to my good ole' days on the farm!" (robtone247@yahoo.com)

"Oops, sorry about that bro, thought you were a chick!" (iholdridge@aol.com)

Never yell "Hey it's the fuzz". And definitely do not complain about the fuzz. (lsamarri@aol.com) Which ties in all too well with this one...

"Oh, gross! There's a cat hair in my mouth, at least I think it's a cat hair....." (LillyotValley2@aol.com)

"Hey Boss! Fancy seeing you here. Nice leather collar." (darkmanwork@hotmail.com)

"I love these things.. nobody knows WHO had crabs!" (ChrisAndBrandi69@aol.com)

Kinda brings the out the HO in those "Home" videos, huh?...

"Hey, does anyone mind if I videotape for America's Funniest Videos?" (khalazdad@adelphia.net)