(updated 20 Jan 04)

You know your kid's birthday party is going to bomb when...
(Topic suggested by chharget@aol.com)

...the piñata is just a trashbag full of styrofoam peanuts. (dinosaur1972@aol.com)

...you remember no one picked up the dog poop in the back yard...for the last 5 weeks. (n_zukowski@hotmail.com)

...the clown makes origami instead of balloon animals. (Pmacca01@go.com) You ever try to FOLD a balloon??

...the 6 foot tall mannish looking female clown says "Why yes, I did used to be Attorney General." (skibip@aol.com)

...911 calls back to ask why you hung up on them. (DeepThought07@aol.com)

...the clown you hired reeks of whiskey and keeps calling the kids "$#it-monsters." (tenaciousfiend24@sbcglobal.net) Fifteen minutes into the party and you probably will be too.

...it's a barbecue and the first kid who shows up is wearing a PETA shirt. (darkmanwork@hotmail.com)

...a bakery mix-up sends a bachelorette party penis-shaped cake to your house. (MrglsJon@aol.com)

...it's a pool party and your uncle Ted crashes the party wearing flip-flops, sun screen, and not much else. (darkmanwork@hotmail.com)

..."Good luck with your prostate exam" is spelled on the cake. (BikeMike101@hotmail.com) Seems to me you guys got the same cake MrglsJon did.

...you promise the kids it won't. (BPaul317@aol.com)

...your sister-in-law leaves the ice cream cake in the back seat of the car for two hours so your kid, "...will be surprised when he sees it." (chharget@aol.com)

...the parents of the children you invited all send a list of the things their kids are allergic to. (sp723920@aol.com)

Great...another repeat of last year...

...the teacher is the only one who shows. (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com)