(updated 21 Feb 04)
You might not have long to live if...
(Topic suggested by firstname.lastname@example.org)
...Anna Nicole Smith shows sudden romantic interest in you. (StanYan1@aol.com; email@example.com)
...you have a $3 million life-insurance policy that your wife knows about. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
...your doctor gives you a referral to a mortician. (email@example.com)
...you get your "best ideas" from watching "Jackass." (firstname.lastname@example.org)
...your wife suggests that you blow-dry your hair in the shower to save time. (email@example.com) Worse yet...you're bald.
...your doctor insists you pay in cash...in advance. (Truckerex@insightbb.com)
...you smoke full flavor cigarettes, eat bacon, drive a Ford Explorer with Firestone tires and have asbestos drywall. (firstname.lastname@example.org) Uh, didn't you forget the fact that you have never exercised a day in your life?
...after telling you you'll be on it for the rest of your life, the doctor gives you a "no refills" prescription. (email@example.com)
...on a trip to Little Italy, you're heard saying; "Sinatra was so overrated!" (MrglsJon@aol.com)
...you hold your breath 'til you win "Finish Line". (BPaul317@aol.com) Or until I update...yeah yeah, I'll get back into the swing of things eventually...hopefully.
...you've been scared half to death twice. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
...you are keeping your fingers crossed for a call from the governor... (email@example.com)
...if you come home with heart-shaped dish sponges on Valentine's Day. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
...everyone's being nice to you. (email@example.com)
...the phrase "I don't care if you ARE in the Mafia" has ever come out of your mouth. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
...you become Spinal Tap's newest drummer. (JHGRocker@aol.com)
Well, at least your HMO is paying SOME attention to you...
...the doctors have been referring to you as "The Organ Donor". (email@example.com)