(updated 27 Aug 04)

Well, it's that time of year again...when we put this contest on the shelf and put another one in its place. I've had one in mind for a while, and I hope it will be as fun to play as I envision it to be. So, with that said...this is our last installment of No No's for the time being.

Things Not To Say and/or Do On a "Guy's-Night-Out"
(Topic suggested by monetmonet@artlover.com)

Anything that begins with "My wife said..." (johnbrunza@yahoo.com; mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com)

Suggest trolling for chicks who appear in need of understanding and a sympathetic ear. (Herzog@aol.com)

Go to the men's room together. (doc1x1@yahoo.com)

"Doesn't your wife have a mole on the same area of her buttocks as that stripper?" (maxcel200@aol.com) No...see...the thing that will get your ass kicked isn't the fact you talked about his wife...it's the fact you used the word "buttocks".

"I'll have the Chablis." (chharget@aol.com)

"Wow, Bill, your ass looks great in those pants." (ltldollclaudia@yahoo.com; ukkfayooyay@aol.com)

"Hold on guys, daddy has to go potty." (QuarterHorse06@aol.com) Worse yet...say this to a woman you just met...either way she takes it, it won't be good.

"Well, I was thinking this time we could just talk for a change..." (dusky_14@yahoo.com)

"My wife is meeting us here." (Rabdreadr@aol.com; skibip@aol.com)

"Can we take my minivan?" (chharget@aol.com)

Answer the cell phone after midnight. (william.fishburne@verizon.net) Ah...so the secret is out, huh?

"All's I'm sayin' is this topless bar needs new drapes, lighter carpet, and some ferns." (joseph.blevins@verizon.net)

"I like pink. Yeah, ... they say pink is the new blue." (RasGold@cox.net)

Wear your wedding ring. (fealy@verizon.net)

"All this lookin' at nekkid women is making me feel guilty." (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

Cheat on your girlfriend with some sleazy little tramp because if you do she'll find out and will make your life an UNENDING, HELLISH, LIVING NIGHTMARE that would make Satan cower in fear and YOU WILL WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN. (saxonraerae7@aol.com) So, you guys are now married?

"So, what will WE do for an Arbor Mist? Guys? Guys? Where are you going?" (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com)

"We can still play strip poker... so what if there's no women around!" (maxcel200@aol.com)

Talk about getting a vasectomy. (zcktomcat@aol.com) Isn't this a no-no anywhere amongst guys?

"So... who else saw the latest 'Queer Eye'?" (joseph.blevins@verizon.net)

Hmmmm...sounds like you started drinking BEFORE you left the house...

"Just got my paycheck, guys...!" (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)


Well, I will try my best to be as clear and concise as I can in describing our new contest...yeah yeah, good luck. Basically what it amounts to is this:

1) I provide a website's URL...the link will be clickable so you can see exactly which page of the website you are to go to (please do not go to any other pages of the website for your entries...only the one that is given).

2) Make funny, witty, off-the-wall comments about anything on that page given...the wording, the name of the site itself, the photos...anything you see fit, as long as it is on that page. Some suggestions of what you could do is dialogue of the people in the photos, inventing an ad slogan for the product (if there's a product), what type of person would go to that site, what they were thinking when they decided to create the website in the first place, etc., I am sure the list could go on and on...if you can think of it, and it's good...we'd like to hear it.

3) Submit your entries and check back to see who won.

Please also feel free to send us URLs...but keep in mind we aren't going to be using all of them...so don't send me tons all at once.

Oh, by the way, we need a short name for this contest as well...so send your entries in via the entry link below. If we pick yours, you will receive 50 Rat's Asses.