(updated 29 Jun 04)
Things Not To Say and/or Do At Your Girlfriend's Parent's House
(Topic suggested by email@example.com)
Don't start after meeting with the parents with "Man, my first date with your daughter was sooooooooo HOT" (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Stare at her mother's chest the entire time. (email@example.com) I guess it could be worse...you could stare at her father's.
Tell her mother that your mother makes better food that this. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Don't mention that you noticed the Vaseline jar in the medicine cabinet was almost empty. (email@example.com)
"Hey man, welcome back from vacation..you two really have an awesome bed!" (RWich928@aol.com)
"Wanna see pictures of my new baby son?" (firstname.lastname@example.org)
"It's nice to know that Shelley's a REAL blonde." (MooseSpeak@netscape.net)
Fart and blame it on the dog....especially when they don't have a dog. (email@example.com; firstname.lastname@example.org)
Stash opened condom wrappers under the sofa cushions. (email@example.com)
"You know, at Motel Six..they don't really leave the light on for ya." (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
Proudly show off your new tattoo explaining its significance to your Street Gang. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
"Woah... you guys have CABLE?!? Awesome! Got the Playboy Channel? huh-huh-huh-huh-huh... (drooling)" (email@example.com)
Hand back the iced tea and ask for a scotch on the rocks instead. (Lil0kimie@aol.com)
"So, are all the women in the family screamers?" (firstname.lastname@example.org; MooseSpeak@netscape.net)
"Do you have any other daughters, in case this one won't put out?" (email@example.com)
"What line of work am I in?...The unemployment line." (firstname.lastname@example.org) Don't forget to bring a drum with you for this one.
"Is YOUR ass gonna get as big as your mom's?" (MrglsJon@aol.com)
Ask, "So are you and your wife pretty sound sleepers or what?" (email@example.com)
"Hey Mrs. Perry...could you get me a drink while you're up? Thanks, toots." (firstname.lastname@example.org)
"So, which one of you put this idea in her head that she should be married before having children?" (email@example.com) "Yeah, all my other baby's moms weren't...sheesh!"
"My Job? Well it is a little complicated to explain...er...er...I am like a druggist, but I work out of my car." (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)
Say "I'd hit that" every time someone says a woman's name. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Start whistling "Mrs. Robinson" whenever her mother walks past you.... (email@example.com)
I'd lay off the Pledge a little, tho...
"Boy, your table sure looks a lot different when your daughter's not bent over it with her panties around her ankles." (ChrisAndBrandi69@aol.com)