...your fifteen minutes of fame somehow involve a Rat's Ass. (email@example.com)
...you lose on the first round of American Idol. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
...in High School, you were voted most likely to work at Radio Shack. (email@example.com)
...you ever married Jennifer Lopez. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
...you start thinking your name really is "Occupant" (email@example.com)
...your only claim to fame is publishing once on Humormeonline. (firstname.lastname@example.org; Cantw82paint@Aol.com) I think your problem here lies in the fact you believe you are actually "being published". ;)
...all your past relationships (2), have ended in, "well no I think she said she had to defrag her hard-drive and couldn't meet me in person." (email@example.com)
...your own mother doesn't remember your name, and she doesn't have Alzheimer's. (Rabdreadr@aol.com)
...your ambition to have your photo taken with Ronald McDonald has not yet been fulfilled (firstname.lastname@example.org)
...you're one of the other three members of the Lovin' Spoonful. (email@example.com) Uh...yeah...hmmm.
...you find yourself regularly admiring the achievement of your local K-mart manager. (Fraglesrock@aol.com)
...you applied to be a contestant on the final showing of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" (firstname.lastname@example.org)
...you're a democratic presidential hopeful and Al Sharpton is WAY ahead of you. (email@example.com)
...you've been given a red shirt to wear in the next Star Trek movie. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
...if your SAT and ACT scores combined are lower than your weight. (Dspur57098@aol.com) Not sure if weight or IQ would be worse here.
...I'm looking forward to my high school reunion so I can corner everyone that signed my year book and ask why they didn't 'KIT' (Keep In Touch). (CoyPsyche@aol.com)
...you don't get any spam. (email@example.com)
...your one true claim to fame and the culmination of your life's work is the invention of the adhesive that makes the "white-on-one-side/foil-on-the-other" wrapper on each stick of Wrigley's Gum possible. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
...you own more than 50 cats and know all their names and birthdays. (email@example.com)
I think this one also classifies as "Top Ten Worst Pick Up Lines" ...
...you have a friend, whose barber's cousin, once saw CarrotTop in person. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)