(updated 27 Oct 06) 

...it's later than you think.
(suggested by NITRAMXXX@aol.com)

Cadeaux, update a contest!...It's later than you think. (Airfarcewon@aol.com; vinyllover45@yahoo.com) Yeah yeah...all 104 of you who sent this...smartasses.

If you still think Charo is hot...it's later than you think. (maxcel200@aol.com)

If McDonald's is already serving lunch...it's later than you think. (DavidGoTribe@aol.com) Hash browns should be on the menu 24/7.

You've been laid-off, you're in bed, it's 1:00 pm on a Wednesday, so who cares if...it's later than you think. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

Thanks to Blockbusters reinstatement of past due fees... That DVD copy of “Amazon Cheerleader Slumber Party”...Sorry...it's later than you think. (fparsons@yahoo.com)

When you see the unopened box of condoms on the night stand in the morning...it's later than you think. (strontium901@aol.com)

Forgot about daylight savings time again?...It's later than you think. (monacof@bellsouth.net; Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Better order that last call at the bar, because...it's later than you think. (Airfarcewon@aol.com; e-marlon@sio.midco.net) This is why I prefer to drink at home...alone...at 3:00 a.m. Geez, I have a sad little life...thanks for reminding me...

When her period's late...it's later than you think. (leissuit@msn.com)

If FEMA finally shows up ...it's later than you think. (stan@squidworks.com)

On the Doomsday Clock...it's later than you think. (stigg@cs.com)

If you read your own obituary in the paper...it's later than you think. (bjjtoff@yahoo.com) Wow, both you and stigg are doing your part to cheer us all up.

You're channel surfing and see Suzanne Somers on Three's Company AND at the same time on the home shopping channel hocking her wares...it's later than you think. (holtbolt@comcast.net)

You went for a few drinks after work, looked at your watch and it read 10:00, time to go home, then you walk outside and it's light out, so you realize...it's later than you think. (Cantw82paint@Aol.com) "And THIS time...you'll mean it?" Oh...like you haven't seen Larry Miller do this...well, if you haven't...you should have - it was damned funny.

You're actually considering having one more drink with the dude at the bar who looks like Clint Howard....it's later than you think. (holtbolt@comcast.net)

By the time you notice all the blood...it's later than you think. (ReineDeDouleur@yahoo.com) But if it's your own blood you won't be thinking about it for too long. See? Always a positive side to things...not like that Doomsday clock thing.

If the TV is still showing the test pattern...it's later than you think. (vinyllover45@yahoo.com)

When you would rather watch football than have sex it's later than you think. (NITRAMXXX@aol.com) How about Twilight Zone marathons and The X-Files...do they count? Uhhhhh...RoboCop 3???

If you bought that watch from Wal-Mart...it's later than you think. (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com)

DUH...

No matter how early you are when meeting your wife somewhere, she'll STILL say...it's later than you think. (strontium901@aol.com)