(updated 29 Jul 08) 

(Hosted by Mindchaff)

...you're going to get burned.

Tell the fireman rescuing you that he is not hunky enough, and...you're going to get burned. (jaberwok@yahooy.com)

Try to prove that you can suck start a Harley...you're going to get burned. (jaberwok@yahooy.com)

If you sent cash, as a show of good faith, to a dude in Ethiopia...you're going to get burned. (Airfarcewon@aol.com; mashallaha@aol.com) Whew! I‘m safe...I sent my money to Nigeria!

If you REALLY think a flame thrower makes a good anniversary present for HER...you're going to get burned. (sheafitz1@netscape.com)

If you get your sunscreen at Val's Discount Warehouse...you're going to get burned. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

If you're a blank CD...you're going to get burned. (retrometro@rogers.com)

If you are hypersensitive to crass boorishness, and turn on "The View" for more than thirty seconds...you're going to get burned. (gerg17@comcast.net)

If you wear a fez while riding a moped to the Sturgis Biker Rally...you're going to get burned. (gerg17@comcast.net) Yes, it may be positively in-sultan to them!

If you answer that letter offering you money from Nigeria...you're going to get burned. (mashallaha@aol.com)

Selling your Hummer...you're going to get burned. (seeker@vcoms.net) It’s called taking the gas pipe.

If she uses Ben Gay as a lubricant...you're going to get burned. (Truckerex@comcast.net) And rub her the wrong way.

Try to light the candles on Bucko's b-day cake without a flame-thrower, and...you're going to get burned. (jaberwok@yahooy.com) Wait! He’s still way to young to be the Republican presidential nominee!

Possibility that when a cop pulls you over and asks, where's the fire...and you say...in your eyes officer...well then...you're going to get burned. (humorbear@aol.com)

Vote for (insert any politician name) and...you're going to get burned. (DOrr221@comcast.net)

More specifically...

No matter who wins in November...you're going to get burned. (astae@paonline.com)

When you go to your reward and you're locked out...you're going to get burned. (humorbear@aol.com)

If your cute, low tech, new squeeze has never heard of Alexander Graham Bell...you're going to get burned. (humorbear@aol.com) Or if she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.

If you need a cheat-sheet to make toast...you're going to get burned. (humorbear@aol.com)

Out for a hot time? Then...

If you're a stranger to fiction in single's bars...you're going to get burned. (humorbear@aol.com)