(updated 2 Dec 06) 

Give a man a fish...
(suggested by NITRAMXXX@aol.com)

Give a man a fish...it'll take the sharks' attention off of you while scuba-diving. (JTulli@Juno.com)

Give a man a fish...and he'll hand it to a woman to gut and clean. (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com; rampage1984@msn.com)

Give a man a fish...and he'll probably ask you, "What the hell am I supposed to do with this?" (Truckerex@insightbb.com; NITRAMXXX@aol.com)

Give a man a fish...and a month later he'll sue you for mercury poisoning. (skibip@aol.com; stan@squidworks.com)

Give a man a fish...and he may not notice how bad you smell. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Give a man a fish...especially if he doesn't like fish. It'll be funny. (JTulli@Juno.com) And watch them both squirm?

Give a man a fish... he'll eat for a day. Teach him HOW to fish, he'll be expected to shell out some dough for a fishing license. (stan@squidworks.com)

Give a man a fish...and he'll swear that HE caught it. (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com; topsquark@yahoo.com)

Give a man a fish...and be prepared to have him give you a puppet show. (ltldollclaudia@yahoo.com)

Give a man a fish...because the other way around makes no sense. (JTulli@Juno.com)

Give a man a fish...and don't condemn him for what he does with it in the privacy of his own home. (tpanner@hotmail.com; Pootybrew@goosemoose.com) Yes...time to drag the "butt site" out again...2nd story down.

Give a man a fish...and he'll do a funny little dance while slapping you with it. (strontium901@juno.com; thedraugr@yahoo.com)

Give a man a fish...and he will always think about that one certain girl he used to date!!! (steve_medel@oxy.com; flynnkj19@aol.com)

Give a man A Fish...Called Wanda, and you'll find him laughing his ass off on the couch in front of the TV all day. (luganrn77@yahoo.com)

Give a man a fish...he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll get drunk every weekend. (strollo5@earthlink.net) On the bright side...he might fall in and drown when he stands up to pee off the side of the boat.

Give a man a fish...unless that man is Abe Vigoda - it'd be unoriginal. (JTulli@Juno.com)

Give a man a fish...unless you're at the Seattle fish market, then you have to throw a man a fish! (JTulli@Juno.com)

Give a man a fish...and he'll make a bass of himself. (jdcoops3@aol.com)

Give a man a fish...doesn't sound quite as good as "Give a dog a bone..." in that song. (sheafitz1@netscape.com) This proves the comic mind works in mysterious ways.

Give a man a fish... and you gotta spring for the aquarium, the fish food, wonna those little Japanese-looking bridges, the treasure chest that opens and closes, the deep-sea diver with the bubbles... (lilfishjean@sbcglobal.net)

Nothing says class like a singing bass...

Give a man a fish...and he'll turn it into a singing, wall-mounted novelty. (rod.renner@juno.com)