(updated 30 Sep 07) 

If wishes were...
(Suggested by NITRAMXXX@aol.com)

If wishes were dishes, my husband still wouldn't wash them. (imwednesdayaddams@yahoo.com; DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

If wishes were money, my wife would get the divorce she's wanted, and I'd be back in California playing pocket pool on Malibu Beach. (Banks.del@gmail.com)

If wishes were...easily fulfilled I'd win this contest. (tphyll@aol.com) I don't see what your problem is - I get picked each time *I* play! ;)

If wishes were...were taxable we'd all be bankrupt. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

If wishes were...something you had to pay for, there would be a lot fewer wishes. (davidgotribe@aol.com)

If wishes were...as likely to come true as "the Secret' suggests they are, I would have had a lot more sex by now (mikepena@verizon.net)

If wishes were...dishes, they'd all be smashed over the top of your head by now. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

If wishes were...testicles, would we still get three? (jaytah@comcast.net) Are you trying to tell us you have three?

If wishes were...parking tickets, my wildest dreams would've been fulfilled about 4,000 times. (erniedacabdriver@netscape.net)

If wishes were...Core 2 Quad Intel processors, HMO would be updated twice a day. (tpanner@hotmail.com) Oh...right...this is as likely as Bush getting a third term.

If wishes were...vicious, I bet a woman made 'em up. (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

If wishes were...farts, it would really stink near the Lotto machine. (Truckerex@insightbb.com; e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

Hey...that wasn't a genie that just popped out!...

If wishes were...sex would you still rub the lamp? (seeker@vcoms.net)