(updated 5 Nov 07) 

Never criticize a man until...

First off...this has got to be one of the best Missquotes list in a while...way to go, guys, you had me chuckling quite a few times!...

Never criticize a man until...you're out of range. (seeker@vcoms.net; rampage1984@msn.com)

Never criticize a man until... after you have your first cup of coffee, heck you might as well be awake to enjoy it. (agapeagent@yahoo.com)

Never criticize a man until...he can't tie his own shoes 'cause his belly gets in the way. (ubinrude@peoplepc.com) Figure this is how they invented two definitions of the word "loafer".

Never criticize a man until... he's put you in his will. (WJKbase@aol.com) ...but...

Never criticize a man until...he's dead. Then he can't hurt you. (scalpel@aol.com) Someone, it seems, has never seen a ghost movie.

Never criticize a man until...his check clears. (tphyll@aol.com; seeker@vcoms.net)

Never criticize a man until...your best friend is around to share the laughter. (seeker@vcoms.net)

Never criticize a man until...you see what your kneeing him in the nuts has done to him first! (davidgotribe@aol.com)

Never criticize a man until...he is born. (jaytah@comcast.net; gerg17@comcast.net) Hey now, that's uncalled for. Whereas...THIS isn't...

Never criticize a man until...he opens his mouth. (e-marlon@sio.midco.net; jdcoops@aol.com)

Never criticize a man until... he's proven a trained chimp could do it better. Spend the interim laughing at his dumb ass. (bhsmrtgrrl@yahoo.com) He's proven it or you have? - If you wait for him to prove it, that ain't gonna happen in this lifetime, trust me on this one.

Never criticize a man until...the football game is over. (tphyll@aol.com; pcorradin@comcast.net)

Never criticize a man until...you have his complete, undivided attention (there, that should end any criticism). (gerg17@comcast.net)

Never criticize a man until...his wife gets through. (jdcoops@aol.com) Really...I mean with all due respect she's earned the right to go first.

Never criticize a man until... you've drove a few miles in the new car he bought ya. (KittysKorner70@aol.com)

Never criticize a man until...you marry him; then you've got a license. (rod.renner@juno.com; PAdams002@hotmail.com) A license...you mean like the one James Bond has?

Never criticize a man until...he takes his foot of your throat and drops the tire iron. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Never criticize a man until...he says, "you know, maybe I ought to switch to boxers" as he reaches in his pants to reposition his penis while sitting in a crowded restaurant. (tpanner@hotmail.com) Thank you for that visual...altho you did leave out the word "fancy". I'll leave you all to determine where to put it.

Never criticize a man until...you are in public (mitchwatts@yahoo.com)

Never criticize a man until...he puts the shotgun away. (tygrkhat40@yahoo.com; Truckerex@insightbb.com)

Never criticize a man until...he leaves the toilet seat up. (tphyll@aol.com)

Never criticize a man until...AFTER he orgasms. Then, make him a sandwich. (lhill@bryant.edu) Oh ha ha ha ha...lhill is such a kidder...good one, lhill! Of course what was IN the sandwich, well...

Never criticize a man until...you've bulked up a bit. (kamasushi@gmail.com)

Never criticize a man until...you've spent a day with his wife. (banks.del@gmail.com; tpanner@hotmail.com)

Never criticize a man until...you're absolutely positive he isn't a martial arts expert. (banks.del@gmail.com; Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Never criticize a man until...you're sure he's not your new boss. (kamasushi@gmail.com)

Never criticize a man until...you get your tools back. (e-marlon@sio.midco.net) Craftsman's new motto.

Never criticize a man until...he puts his fingers in the air like quote marks to emphasize a spoken word, and then you just deck him. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

Words to live to see the next day by...

Never criticize a man until...you're positively sure he doesn't know your home address. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)