(updated 8 Feb 09) 

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Happiness is having a large...

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns. No wonder he lived to be a hundred. Could you match wits with this legendary comedian? Oh God I had hoped so! "And now Gracie say hello to our winners."

Happiness is having a large...can of whip cream and a drunken date. (seeker@vcoms.net) Yes. you’d have it licked.

Happiness is having a large...empty condom box (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Happiness is having a large...warm puppy. Oh wait, am I mixing my axioms here? How about a large cold puppy? Or maybe a warm puppy with large....oh never mind. (skibip@aol.com)

Happiness is having a large...enough car to fit your 5, "slightly", overweight children in, without having to make more then one trip! (MrMisterman@aol.com) That way you wouldn’t be in violation of the No Child Left Behind Act.

Happiness is having a large...uh, funny bone. (archerjoe@hotmail.com) I find this entry stingingly humerus.

Happiness is having a large cock...tail on the beach. (astae@paonline.com) One that goes down easily, I would presume.

Happiness is having a large...fight and for the first time ever she ends up finally sleeping on the freaking couch! (MrMisterman@aol.com)

Happiness is having a large Hummer that gets 50 miles to the gallon. (maxcel200@aol.com)

Happiness is having a large...jealous husband not seeing you under the bed. (Airfarcewon@aol.com) Yes, if he saw you, you’d be screwed...for the second time.

Happiness is having a large...nose and you work in a bakery. (maxcel200@aol.com)

Happiness is having a large...screen TV, fully stocked fridge, and heavily sedated wife. (strollo5@embarqmail.com)

Happiness is having a large...ladies' wear store where you don't have to be the shape of a toothpick to find something that fits and actually looks good. (retrometro@rogers.com)

Happiness is having a large...mattress for your 2009 banking needs. (gerg17@comcast.net) Be careful...your investments are about to go under.

Picking this entry was relatively simple...

Happiness is having a large...family that doesn't hang around after the holidays. (tpanner@hotmail.com)