(updated 14 Apr 04) 

If you've seen one...
(Topic suggested by Sugarbaybee69@aol.com)

If you've seen one...then you were watching the Super Bowl. (tmhayes18@cfl.rr.com; tainsam@aol.com)

If you've seen one...ya wanna see the rest of 'em, too! (seeker@vcoms.net)

If you've seen one...it's a pretty good bet you aren't seeing double. (skibip@aol.com)

If you've seen one...and can keep a straight face, you may have a future in Urology. (chharget@aol.com)

If you've seen one... unauthorized sex tape this year, Paris Hilton was probably in it. (khalazdad@adelphia.net)

If you've seen one...cover your genitals, 'cause all dem dang aliens want to inspect your genitals. (william.fishburne@verizon.net) You know, maybe there's just one giant cosmic webcam out there and you are on it.

If you've seen one...all the rest are about the same size. (marymarg27608@yahoo.com)

If you've seen one...you've seen more than Stevie Wonder. (davidgotribe@aol.com)

If you've seen one...sell your story to the National Enquirer. (sheafitz1@netscape.com)

If you've seen one...please call 1(800) WMD SEEN. (chharget@aol.com)

If you've seen one...NOW you know why most people have sex with the lights out. (MooseSpeak@netscape.net)

If you've seen one... of my relatives, I am truly sorry. (robertellingsworth@yahoo.com) So...we are related?

If you've seen one...episode of Gilligan's Island you know the only way to get off the island is to kill Gilligan. (robertellingsworth@yahoo.com)

If you've seen one...grade school Christmas concert, you've seen one more than you really wanted to see. (patbruns@netscape.net)

If you've seen one... better call Orkin; there are more! (pjb1671@netscape.net; cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

If you've seen one... episode of a soap a week, you don't need to watch the rest. (xflcheerleaders@hotmail.com) What do you mean a week...try a month!

If you've seen one...group of stores all in the same building, you've seen the mall. (dinosaur1972@aol.com)

If you've seen one...you're not that old. (davidgotribe@aol.com)

If you've seen one...Bush-administration official admit making a mistake, you must've been on something. (chharget@aol.com)

If you've seen one... leather-worker's hole puncher, you've seen them awl. (khalazdad@adelphia.net)

The story of my life...waiting around for hours, kinda like me updating these contests...uh...no, that's not the same...nevermind...

If you've seen one...flash on the monitor at the deli market, chances are, you're number 83. (Mobuckler@aol.com)