(updated 15 Jan 04) 

The shortest distance between two...
(Topic suggested by Cantw82paint@aol.com)

The shortest distance between two...ideas is a point (chharget@aol.com)

The shortest distance between two...stupid people is still not long enough. (mistahtom@aol.com)

The shortest distance between two... of anything has a Starbucks in between them. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

The shortest distance between two... ears, would be the brain of Britney Spears. (tainsam@aol.com) Don't worry, her marriage/annulment will probably soon be overshadowed by something Mariah Carey is planning.

The shortest distance between two...cars and a motorcycle will get in there. (marymarg27608@yahoo.com)

The shortest distance between two... pints gets subjectively longer and longer as the pub crawl progresses. (khalazdad@adelphia.net)

The shortest distance between two...putts is a pissed off golfer (chharget@aol.com)

The shortest distance between two...testicles is the result of overly tight underwear. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

The shortest distance between two...trains, one moving at 60 mph and the second at 95 mph...does anybody else hate these questions? (n_zukowski@hotmail.com)

The shortest distance between two... places is irrelevant if the husband has to ask for directions. (jamesmon2000@hotmail.com)

The shortest distance between two governors is a recall election. (toadnpootie@yahoo.com)

The shortest distance between two...is called cleavage. (Airfarcewon@aol.com) How that "lift and 'separate'" thing ever caught on is beyond me.

The shortest distance between two...lawyers is a hit and run. (robertellingsworth@yahoo.com)

The shortest distance between two...towns in Wyoming is probably the length of Delaware. (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

The shortest distance between two... homosexuals is not a STRAIGHT line. (jamesmon2000@hotmail.com)

The shortest distance between two...limes, is a Margarita! (DeepThought07@aol.com)

The shortest distance between two...exits on this damn freeway, and I still ran out of gas. (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

The shortest distance between two...people is the fine veneer of spit on their lips. (wildthink@earthlink.net) If I ever write a novel, I'm using this line in it.

The shortest distance between two nights is a bottle of tequila. (toadnpootie@yahoo.com)

The shortest distance between two... places will never be the way the cab driver goes. (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com)

The shortest distance between two...cokeheads is a line. (chharget@aol.com)

The shortest distance between two...planets is apparently 820 million dollars of tax payers money. (wbre98@aol.com)

The shortest distance between two... points generally has the slowest speed limit. (StanYan1@aol.com)

Sounds like something George Costanza would say...ah how I still miss Seinfeld...

The shortest distance between two...naked men in a locker room is two feet, buddy. Respect the bubble. (scalpel@aol.com)