(updated 15 Sep 04) 

Never kick a man...
(Topic suggested by airfarcewon@aol.com)

Never kick a man...when tweaking his nose and poking his eyes will get a bigger laugh. (chharget@aol.com)

Never kick a man... when a cop is close by. (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com)

Never kick a man...that has a gun. (litig8you@yahoo.com; Rabdreadr@aol.com)

Never kick a man... Kick a woman instead! (This message brought to you by the Ike Turner Society.) (joseph.blevins@verizon.net) Something tells me if you're married, you'll be getting your own butt kicking soon.

Never kick a man...carrying your grocery bag with the eggs. (lacee7700@aol.com)

Never kick a man...when he's down? That's the best time to kick him, he's closer to your foot! (tygrkhat40@yahoo.com)

Never kick a man...who's a masochist. Oh, hell, if he's a masochist, keep kicking him. (candaceelder2002@yahoo.com) Then charge him $50 for it...'cause people pay good money for this "treatment" in the city.

Never kick a man... in the crotch unless you're videotaping it for America's Funniest Home Videos. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

Never kick a man...atee. Those environmentalists will have a (sea) cow. (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com; joseph.blevins@verizon.net)

Never kick a man...that's wearing a size 18 shoe. (robertellingsworth@yahoo.com; master_of_luv@hotmail.com) Unless he's also wearing a bright red nose.

Never kick a man...In the wallet, you may break his wife's hand. (fparsons@yahoo.com)

Never kick a man...use a club, you might hurt your foot! (fireflysmail@aol.com)

Never kick a man...out of your bar on payday. (chharget@aol.com)

Never kick a man...unless he's wearing slipper socks. (Airfarcewon@aol.com) I say...let's kick him BECAUSE he's wearing slipper socks.

Never kick a man...unless he's a pacifist. (dorr@jam.rr.com)

Never kick a man...with no legs. It's just not fair, is it? (mikepena@socal.rr.com)

Never kick a man...eating tiger. That's just asking for trouble. (xodox3000@hotmail.com; fishjean@sonic.net)

Never kick a man...whose wife already kicks his ass on a daily basis. (candaceelder2002@yahoo.com; ubinrude@peoplepc.com)

Never kick a man...and there goes your career as a kick boxer. (maxcel2002aol.com)

Just another one of those gems of wisdom we thought we'd pass on...

Never kick a man...with the smell of vomit on his breath. (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)