(updated 16 May 04) 

If it's not one thing...
(Topic suggested by khalazdad@adelphia.net)

If it's not one thing...ask for a quantity discount.. (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com)

If it's not one thing...its two things... thing one and thing two. Thing two and thing one. They can find anything anything anything under the sun. (imwednesdayaddams@yahoo.com)

If it's not one thing...it's all the things you see on CNN that makes you wish outer space travel was a REALITY! (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)

If it's not one thing...it's probably your significant other calling your cellphone while you're already unloaded in the checkout lane, apparently with an entire week's list of desperately needed items. (paracletus3@aol.com) Hey, does that 30-pack of Tampax mean I have to get out of the "Under 15 Items" line?

If it's not one thing... IT'S BREEDING!!! KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT!! (rochford@netaus.net.au)

If it's not one thing...then she's bitching about another. (eleman8859@aol.com)

If it's not one thing...then it's probably one of those other failed Volkswagen models. (skibip@aol.com) Well, you must have owned one to have even remembered.

If it's not one thing...your auto mechanic is probably padding his bill. (maxcel200@aol.com)

If it's not one thing...said the farmer, it's an udder. (kahoapili@aol.com)

If it's not one thing...then your excuse is too complicated. (straightarrow15@hotmail.com)

If it's not one thing...then I'm not doing it. I'm not good at multi-tasking! (KatSut78@aol.com)

Or totally unsexual...just like me!...

If it's not one thing...you could be a hermaphrodite. (mwatts@nhbakersfield.com)