(updated 17 Aug 05) 

A friend in need...
(Topic suggested by NITRAMXXX@aol.com)

A friend in need...is a pain in the ass. (HerzogVon@aol.com; Airfarcewon@aol.com)

A friend in need...always shows up around payday. (nstn@statefarm.com; GerriHan65@aol.com)

A friend in need...may as well not call me, 'cause I ain't got any either. (Rabdreadr@aol.com; watch4whales@yahoo.com)

A friend in need...is a friend without weed. (dzed68@yahoo.com; maxcel200@aol.com)

A friend in need... is a friend who you've told time and again not to show off for someone by eating a raw Scotch Bonnet pepper. (Shadowpet1704@aol.com) You know...if I'm not mistaken, this is the first time anyone has ever said "Scotch Bonnet pepper" on HMO. Now since I've mentioned this, someone else will.

A friend in need...ham, MA? No way! Don't know anyone out in them thar parts. (HerzogVon@aol.com)

A friend in need... who values his legs would do well not to borrow money from anyone named 'Guido'. (thedraugr@yahoo.com)

A friend in need... seldom believes the 'Oh, he died last week' ruse. (thedraugr@yahoo.com) Especially when "the dead one" opens the door.

A friend in need...is the perfect target for your new get-rich-quick scam. (mikepena@verizon.net)

A friend in need...is a friend without deeds, or other proof of ownership. (scalpel@aol.com)

A friend in need... should call the Red Cross or the Salvation Army. I'm just a friend, not a damn Social Worker. (pjb1671@yahoo.com)

A friend in need...is a friend in need of a job. (sheafitz1@netscape.com; Phaartking@yahoo.com)

A friend in need...is useless. (dennisilvr@aol.com) I think this about sums it up.

A friend in need... still has my damned ice-chest. (thedraugr@yahoo.com)

A friend in need...is the only kind I seem to know. (rod.renner@juno.com)

A friend in need...of toilet paper will probably use your shower curtain instead. (Phaartking@yahoo.com) Thank you ever so much for pointing that out, I really needed to do laundry at midnite.

A friend in need...needs more friends. (nstn@statefarm.com)

A friend in need...can be avoided if you have caller ID. (rampage1984@msn.com; GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com)

Personally, I call them another word that starts with "M"...well, okay, technically it's two words...

A friend in need...is a nice way to say "moocher". (redcherri817@yahoo.com; stan@squidworks.com)