(updated 17 Dec 03) 

If the shoe fits...
(Topic suggested by Airfarcewon@aol.com)

If the shoe fits...chances are you're still no Cinderella (dzed68@yahoo.com)

If the shoe fits... maybe it's worth trying to find the other one, but shoes found by the roadside are generally not of the best quality. (khalazdad@adelphia.net)

If the shoe fits... put it on and run around the block a few times. A fat a** like you could use the exercise! (Storm844@aol.com)

If the shoe fits...put tape on the soles, use them in a wedding then take the tape off and take them back for a refund [I was an Al Bundy wannabe before I got a real job]. (steve_medel@oxy.com) I won't even ask...well, maybe you could send me an email, tho.

If the shoe fits...you got one really big mouth. (chharget@aol.com; Sugarbaybee69@aol.com)

If the shoe fits... try and coordinate it with a matching handbag, and don't let your wife catch you wearing her stuff. Oh, and remember to shave this time. (khalazdad@adelphia.net)

If the shoe fits...my tightwad lazy boss, it must be a "penny loafer". (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

If the shoe fits...on your head, you're really weird. (Pootybrew@earthlink.net) I'm the weird one? You're the one who came up with the entry in the first place.

If the shoe fits...Take the $30 mil for endorsing it. (chharget@aol.com)

If the shoe fits...and you're buying a pair of Reebok's for your 9 year old...they'll be too small in 6 months. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

If the shoe fits...the mate is missing. (ahines3103@aol.com; lacee7700@aol.com) Did you try looking on the side of the road with khalazdad?

If the shoe fits...don't forget to steal its match out of the locker, too. (scalpel@aol.com)

If the shoe fits... you'll need a different excuse to return it after prom night. (khalazdad@adelphia.net)

If the shoe fits...it's probably not on sale. (ahines3103@aol.com; LowerETs@aol.com)

If the shoe fits...then do the other 3 brakes. (mashallaha@aol.com)

If the shoe fits...and it's a size 15, you won't have any trouble getting a date. (dspur57098@aol.com; rsherman@netplexgroup.com)

And your point IS???...

If the shoe fits...she'll STILL shop for yet more shoes. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)