(updated 19 Jul 04) 

The grass is always...
(Topic suggested by william.fishburne@verizon.net)

The grass is always...inhaled, Mr. Clinton. What are you, nuts? (julie@blackbox.elsewhere.org)

The grass is always...growing damnit! I gotta go out and cut it again...and it's supposed to rain, so it'll just grow some more and I'll have to cut it again! (tygrkhat40@yahoo.com)

The grass is always... plentiful in Tommy Chong's van. (TvOrNotTv1@aol.com)

The grass is always... growing on trees at Snoop Dog's crib. (doc1x1@yahoo.com) Figures...here in the Alabama all we have is that stupid Spanish Moss stuff.

The grass is always...found by those damned sniffing dogs. (scalpel@aol.com)

The grass is always... more expensive when it comes from Hawaii. (khalazdad@adelphia.net)

The grass is always...paid for at new NFL stadiums by raising ticket prices again. (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

The grass is always... four feet tall on at least ONE lawn in any Levittown-type community! (cmndrnineveh@aol.com) Hey, it's a darned planned community...maybe they planned it that way.

The grass is always...supposed to be laid green side up. (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com)

The grass is always...greener next to the leaky sprinkler head. (chharget@aol.com)

The grass is always...planted in mass quantities outside the allergy clinic. (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com)

The grass is always...dead behind the restrooms with too long a line. (dorr@jam.rr.com) You must take your dates to some really "nice" places.

The grass is always...growing over my lawn mower. It's bad when you have to weed eat the grass grown around your lawn mower just to get to it. (Lil0kimie@aol.com)

The grass is always...in spite of my best efforts to grow it...'mulch to do about nothing'! (maxcel200@aol.com)

The grass is always...taller when your shorter. (mychickenlips@aol.com) Still debating whether or not this is profound.

The grass is always...better stuff when you steal it out of your teen's underwear drawer. (lillyotvalley@aol.com)

The grass is always...a money-maker for the producers of Allegra and Claritin. (reidayork@aol.com)

The grass is always...found in my urine. (davidgotribe@aol.com)

The grass is always... someone else's when the cops show up. (stan@squidworks.com; pjb1671@netscape.net)

The grass is always...covered over by concrete --progress, you know! (pjb1671@netscape.net) Ahhh...someone was listening to Joni Mitchell whilst sending entries.

The grass is always...the reason I have a joint bank account. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

The grass is always...what I aim for while sky diving. (davidgotribe@aol.com)

The grass is always...better when you have a Pink Floyd album handy. (dakotadave57104@yahoo.com)

And rose-coloured glasses by any other name would still have this effect...

The grass is always...greener until you take your sunglasses off. (craigieb@aol.com)