(updated 21 Mar 04) 

When all else fails...
(Topic suggested by Austinstoy@aol.com)

When all else fails...try THINKING. You'll be amazed at the results. (MooseSpeak@netscape.net)

When all else fails... call your mom. (robertellingsworth@yahoo.com; qusie@aol.com)

When all else fails...you can STILL eat that Twinkie... they keep forever right? (Electronicwaffle@yahoo.com) Which prompts one to ask the eternal question, "Why do they even put an expiration date on them?"

When all else fails... there's always Miss Hand and her five little sisters. (ukkfayooyay@aol.com)

When all else fails... ..you'd better be wearing ultra-absorbent undergarments! (erniedacabdriver@netscape.net)

When all else fails... hope they are grading on a curve. (coypsyche@aol.com)

When all else fails... call a professional. But not until you've screwed things up enough to at least double their fee. (khalazdad@adelphia.net; nallumderaj@aol.com)

When all else fails...there's always booze. (airfarcewon@aol.com)

When all else fails...you probably will too. (HerzogVon@aol.com)

When all else fails...use WD-40 or duct tape. (MedCheryl@aol.com)

When all else fails... try success. Nothing succeeds like success. (khalazdad@adelphia.net) You know, why didn't I think of this...no wonder I'm where I am in this point in my life...if you can actually CALL it a life.

When all else fails...just claim some guy with a goat put a curse on you back in the 1940's. (TZMAC@aol.com)

When all else fails... bribery works wonders. (witsend@sevinex.com)

When all else fails...lower your standards. (MedCheryl@aol.com; Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

When all else fails...blame the new guy. (sunjonesboro@yahoo.com)

When all else fails...RTFM (Read The F***ing Manual). (sheafitz1@netscape.com)

When all else fails...show him the spot. (nallumderaj@aol.com) Uh...see above??

When all else fails...take an easy elective! (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

When all else fails... hit CTRL+ALT+Delete. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

When all else fails...it's time to admit your family was right, you ARE a loser. (Rabdreadr@aol.com)

When all else fails...don't count on your parachute to be the first thing that doesn't. (woodlandavian@hotmail.com)

When all else fails...pessimists finally get to gloat. (MooseSpeak@netscape.net)

Hey, cuddling is good...but not as good as presents...right, girls??...

When all else fails...ask her if she'd just like to cuddle. (chharget@aol.com)