(updated 22 Jan 03) 

Where there's smoke...

Where there's smoke...there's a disgruntled Forest Service employee burning her love letters. (glacier@nwlink.com)

Where there's smoke...there's usually some sanctimonious a** to scream "You can't smoke here!" (Doug0320@aol.com) Yeah, yeah, don't get your panties in a wad...there's one below to even it all out.

Where there's smoke...there are a lot of angry non-smokers who'd like to LIVE, thank you. (MooseSpeak@netscape.net)

Where there's smoke...there's Bill Clinton holding his breath. (internutt9@aol.com; muhltrayne@yahoo.com)

Where there's smoke...there's a person whose head just exploded after listening to Christina Aguilera. (jrgracey1@aol.com) One can only hope.

Where there's smoke...there's a good chance you're eating out tonight. (lacee7700@aol.com)

Where there's smoke... there's Richard Pryor. (Stan790@aol.com)

Where there's smoke...There's MUNCHIES!!! (gregparsons68@yahoo.com; tygrkhat40@yahoo.com)

Where there's smoke...a blonde is 'thinking'. (kamasushi@aol.com) Remember, kamasushi wrote this, not me.

Where there's smoke...you'll find lawyers filing a lawsuit on behalf of the millions of people dying from that one puff of smoke. (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com)

Where there's smoke...you're obviously not using enough lubricant. (fparsons@yahoo.com; edberger@aol.com)

Where there's smoke...there is a man who claims he knows the pink butterfly breed of aliens who abducted JFK as a ploy to make Wendy's hamburgers square. (echoside6375@aol.com) Well we all know what YOU were smoking when you sent this.

Where there's smoke...there's an empty beer can close by with an "X" marked on top of it. (pandie76@hotmail.com)

Where there's smoke...there's another 1972 Pontiac on the road. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

Where there's smoke...there's a DEAD HEAD praying. (newportd@aol.com)

Where there's smoke...Pinocchio's gettin' some. (deezzine@aol.com)

Where there's smoke...there's my husband using a Tupperware container to fry a burger on the stove. (rodentsRred@hotmail.com)

Where there's smoke... on the water, there's Deep Purple. (RasGold@aol.com)

Boy, good thing we are nobody or we just might be getting sued by Zippo right now...

Where there's smoke...there are a couple of idiots standing nearby with a can of gas, a Zippo lighter, and not a clue between them as to what just happened to their brand-new trailer-home. (kamasushi@aol.com)