(updated 22 Oct 04) 

...keeps the doctor away.
(Topic suggested by Sugarbaybee69@aol.com)

No insurance today...keeps the doctor away. (HerzogVon@aol.com; dakotadave57104@yahoo.com)

Insurance companies that don't pay...keeps the doctor away. (bonzo7@yahoo.com)

(Sigh) Nothing seems to...keeps the doctor away. (MooseSpeak@netscape.net)

Failing to sign a malpractice waiver...keeps the doctor away. (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com)

Death...keeps the doctor away. (flynnkj19@aol.com; marymarg27608@yahoo.com)

I've found that constantly trying to get prescribed Vicodin ...keeps the doctor away. (dart270@geocities.com) Isn't that what all those Canadian drug spams are for?

No money...keeps the doctor away. (BRE727@aol.com; phaartking@yahoo.com)

A Christian Scientist...keeps the doctor away. (UKKFAYOOYAY@AOL.COM; e-marlon@sio.midco.com)

Showing up for surgery with your lawyer in tow...keeps the doctor away. (SPTirish@aol.com; jenalt2001@yahoo.com)

"The Bush health plan...keeps the doctor away." - John Kerry (skibip@aol.com)

A six figure insurance premium...keeps the doctor away. (DaJakAiss@aol.com) Actually it keeps them moving to neighbouring states that only have the $20,000 premiums.

A hot little Candy Striper up on 6 West...keeps the doctor away. (takemydough@hotmail.com)

Too many Manhattans at the 19th hole ...keeps the doctor away. (Mahoney_Chris@hotmail.com)

A malfunctioning TARDIS...keeps the doctor away. (murdoctor@aol.com; rampage1984@msn.com) As long as that stupid little K-9 robot dog stays away, I'm all for it.

Sex three times a day (hear that, hon?)...keeps the doctor away. (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

A PhD thesis delay...keeps the doctor away. (chharget@aol.com)

My Co-Pay...keeps the doctor away. (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)

"I'm sorry...but he's all booked up until 2:30 on the 25th of April...2019..."

Knowing that you've won three malpractice suits...keeps the doctor away. (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)