(updated 27 Sep 05) 

A man cannot be comfortable...

A man cannot be comfortable...in underwear one and half sizes too small. (cmndrnineveh@aol.com; dorr@jam.rr.com)

A man cannot be comfortable...with a large amount of life insurance and a pissed off wife. (nstn@statefarm.com)

A man cannot be comfortable... as long as someone, somewhere is more comfortable than he is. (AuntShecky711@aol.com)

A man cannot be comfortable...if his wife has anything to do about it. (rampage1984@msn.com) Well, yeah...DUH.

A man cannot be comfortable...if any gas is still inside his body (holtbolt@comcast.net)

A man cannot be comfortable...buying tampons. (dennisilvr@aol.com)

A man cannot be comfortable...asking his mother in law for advice on sex. (SunnieSparklez@aol.com)

A man cannot be comfortable...watching a Salad Shooter tear up a pickle. (scalpel@aol.com) You know...I think I'll go out and buy one...you know...just for fun.

A man cannot be comfortable...in women's underwear, no matter how good he looks in them. (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

A man cannot be comfortable...caught in his zipper. (kyzka2@yahoo.com.au)

A man cannot be comfortable... when those little people his wife calls their children keep bothering him. (jisargent66@yahoo.com)

A man cannot be comfortable...when his wife goes shopping with HIS credit card. (sheafitz1@netscape.com) Uh...excuse me...but if you're married...it's like HERS, too. Sheesh...men!

A man cannot be comfortable...unless he has one hand on a remote and the other one down his pants. (saxonraerae7@aol.com; nahtehQQz@msn.com)

A man cannot be comfortable...bringing the wife to a bikini beach babe contest. (kyzka2@yahoo.com.au)

A man cannot be comfortable... on a gymnastics balance beam. (stan@squidworks.com)

A man cannot be comfortable...at "The Vagina Monologues." (old.curmudgeon@verizon.net) Especially when they had out Salad Shooters for the first 50 comers.

A man cannot be comfortable...around his wife's friend who has 44DD's (flynnkj19@aol.com)

A man cannot be comfortable...with less than a four blade razor. When are they coming out with the fivers? Can't wait. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

A man cannot be comfortable... carrying his girlfriend's purse. (murdoctor@aol.com; IR2Odie@aol.com)

A man cannot be comfortable...unless the thermostat is set so low everyone else in the house is covered in a light frost. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

A man cannot be comfortable... while wearing tight jeans and having a conversation with a stripper. (manpretty@gmail.com)

A man cannot be comfortable...on a nude beach. Happy, but not comfortable. (old.curmudgeon@verizon.net)

You know...I can't even feel comfortable THINKING about this...

A man cannot be comfortable...watching porn with his parents. (manpretty@gmail.com)