(updated 28 Jun 04) 

Start every day off with a smile...

Start every day off with a smile...take Prozac. (e-marlon@sio.midco.net; mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com)

Start every day off with a smile...because everyone would love to see that piece of bagel stuck in between your teeth. (Sugarbaybee69@aol.com)

Start every day off with a smile...until you get to work. (Katsut78@aol.com)

Start every day off with a smile... or I'll kill you. (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com; Endocrom@aol.com)

Start every day off with a smile...and everyone will know you got some last nite! (MrglsJon@aol.com; Lil0kimie@aol.com)

Start every day off with a smile...and all your co-workers will go crazy trying to figure out what's going on. (tphyll@aol.com)

Start every day off with a smile...or we'll shoot this dog! (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com) Yeah yeah we know you heard a similar version before...but it's still funny.

Start every day off with a smile...especially if you sleep in the nude and that's all you're wearing (kraziehottie05@aol.com)

Start every day off with a smile...and save the hysterical screaming until the end of the day. (Truckerex@insightbb.com)

Start every day off with a smile - it pisses everybody else off to no end. (khalazdad@adelphia.net)

Start every day off with a smile... or a Bloody Mary - I find they produce about the same results. (CoyPsyche@aol.com)

Start every day off with a smile...because tomorrow is when the weight of the world will crush your shoulders. (candaceelder2002@yahoo.com)

Start every day off with a smile - just shove all that rage deep down inside, packed into a little box in the center of your being, ready to erupt at a moment's notice like some sort of horrible jack-in-the-box. (khalazdad@adelphia.net) Note to self: Praise khalazdad's entries as much as humanly possible.

Start every day off with a smile...end it bitching about all the awful things that happened to you through the day. (reidayork@aol.com)

Start every day off with a smile... and sooner or later somebody will hire you to co-host an early morning TV show. (Brenn53@aol.com)

Start every day off with a smile...your husband will begin to wonder if it's safe to eat your cooking. (Cantw82paint@Aol.com) Damn, I shoulda thought of this right from the beginning...I bet he'd be the one doing the cooking.

Start every day off with a smile... 'cause it going to be downhill from there. (stan@squidworks.com; jdcoops3@aol.com)

Start every day off with a smile...and people will be less likely to notice when you're under the influence. (chharget@aol.com)

Start every day off with a smile...and you'll drown in the shower. (Seeker@vcoms.net)

You have a point there...but, uh...how exactly are you going to know...

Start every day off with a smile...except the last one. Maybe that day you should frown. (davidgotribe@aol.com)