(updated 29 Oct 05) 

The bigger they are...
(Suggested by Airfarcewon@aol.com)

The bigger they are... the more you should use the word 'sir'. (rochford@netaus.net.au)

The bigger they are...the easier to convince them to go to Country Buffet on your first date. (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)

The bigger they are...the harder it is to see your feet. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

The bigger they are...the more insecure I feel about mine. :( (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com) It's not he size of them...but who's looking at them, that counts.

The bigger they are...the more there is to love. (hugs) (Omegamagezero@sbcglobal.net)

The bigger they are...the sooner they'll droop, sister! (LouMizzou@yahoo.com; Rabdreadr@aol.com)

The bigger they are... the better the chances someone's lying on the balance sheet. (parlansharvest@yahoo.com)

The bigger they are...claiming to be has a ratio to the horsepower of the sports car they drive to compensate. (tygrkhat40@yahoo.com)

The bigger they are...the longer you stare. (Airfarcewon@aol.com; xflcheerleaders@hotmail.com) Well, there's just more to stare at, is all.

The bigger they are...the more likely they are to get the seat next to mine on a Trans-Atlantic flight. (lilfishjean@comcast.net; AuntShecky711@aol.com)

The bigger they are...the harder it is to hide the bodies. (HerzogVon@aol.com)

The bigger they are...the more likely they are to be Americans. (Is it Monday already? Time to start MY diet!) (monacof@bellsouth.net)

The bigger they are...the better women like 'em! (Don't believe that crap about size doesn't matter.) (Rabdreadr@aol.com; tpanner@hotmail.com) Yes, us wimmens love big bank accounts!

The bigger they are...the less likely they'll be hired as one of the clowns crammed into a Volkswagen. (customerwaller@cox.net)

The bigger they are... the more they get paid for the porn shoot. (murdoctor@aol.com)

The bigger they are...the more you need to make sure your ceiling fans are turned off. (kyzka2@yahoo.com.au)

The bigger they are...the more your back hurts. (dennisilvr@aol.com; murdoctor@aol.com)

The bigger they are...the more probable they'll sit in front of you in the movie theater. (maxcel200@aol.com)

The bigger they are...the more they charge for a lap dance. (guitartexn@aol.com)

The bigger they are... the more likely they'll have a diet Coke with their super-sized meal. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

The bigger they are...the harder they are to fit in the trunk. (dzed68@yahoo.com) Well, unless it's a van...but technically, I don't think they have trunks.

The bigger they are...the more it costs to put gas in them. (dakotadave57104@yahoo.com; nstn@statefarm.com)

The bigger they are...the more dates you'll have in high school. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

Hey now, I think you're trying to make a mountain out of a molehill...

The bigger they are...the more I suspect silicone. (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com; IR2Odie@aol.com)