(updated 2 Dec 05) 

...changes everything.

My universal remote...changes everything. (jdcoops3@aol.com; belleringer1@hotmail.com)

The father who changes his infant's first diaper correctly ...changes everything. (atwright73@yahoo.com) Yeah...but can he load a dishwasher?

Finding out your one night stand is the seventeen year old daughter of the local sheriff, sure ...changes everything. (edprocoat@msn.com)

Getting married...changes everything. (murdoctor@aol.com; tpanner@hotmail.com) Yeah yeah...you knew it'd be here.

A turkey Pop-Tart...changes everything. (deweywins@yahoo.com)

Getting caught trying on her panties...changes everything. (tpanner@hotmail.com) Especially if he ends up looking better in them. Yeah yeah...you knew I'd say that.

Decimal points in my checking account...changes everything. (guitartexn@aol.com)

A plastic surgeon on crack...changes everything. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)

One missed period...changes everything. (stigg@cs.com) Especially when you aren't talking about your checking account.

The White House Communications Office...changes everything. (AuntShecky711@aol.com)

Changing your usual gentle admonition from "now, now" to "you cock sucking douche bag" ...changes everything. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

One drunken night in Tijuana...changes everything. (manpretty@gmail.com)

A snooty interior decorator...changes everything. (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

Oh...be a man...drink the rum straight...

You only have bills and the Coke machine only takes quarters. You search your floorboard for coins, 'cause at 3 AM...changes everything. (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)