(updated 6 Jul 03) 

The best defense...

The best defense...when you come home late, is to walk in backwards and she'll think you're just leaving. (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)

The best defense...is hit first and HARD, then run like hell! (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)

The best defense...that Mike Price had for Alabama was "I don't remember anything that happened after I came to Florida." (SSCompose@aol.com) Oh yeah...and we all believed it.

The best defense...is to pretend you're Jackie Chan and that you KNOW karate! (Sugarbaybee69@aol.com)

The best defense...is hiring de best fence contractor. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

The best defense...will always win the football game unless I put 50 bucks on them with my bookie! (steve_medel@oxy.com)

The best defense...is emigrating to New Zealand. (seeker@vcoms.net)

The best defense is telling them you're really a man underneath your dress. (Hollinsgirl76@aol.com) Unless of course they were looking for that in the first place.

The best defense...apparently costs about 16 trillion dollars a year. (Seeker@Vcoms.net)

The best defense...is a good offensive...smell. (glen122@aol.com)

The best defense...to use against telemarketers is a precocious 4-year-old. (MedCheryl@aol.com)

The best defense...is bringing a gun to knife fight. (MrDelbo@aol.com)

The best defense...is not a public defender. Just ask my brother. (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

The best defense...usually has the lowest grade-point average. (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

Hey, cut him a break, he's probably looking for Osama and Saddam as well...

The best defense... allows you to spend the rest of your life on the golf course, looking for the real killers. (rsherman@netplexgroup.com)