(updated 13 May 03)

Hosted by Jankath

Grow Up AND Out

CHICAGO -- A recent survey reveals that the majority of Americans believe adulthood doesn't officially arrive until one reaches 26 years of age and has a full-time job, a family, and financial independence.

Does "having a family" count if it's living with your parents? (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

Coincidentally, the men who were surveyed also felt it signaled the beginning of the end for them. (Pastlivesr6@aol.com)

That would make Michael Jackson an adult. (mcsestretch@hotmail.com)

If your name is Clinton, you can have all that and still not reach adulthood. (Pootybrew@earthlink.net)

That means 90% of the people in jails need to be re-tried as children. (skibip@aol.com)

In Georgia however, adulthood arrives when you're 14, have 5 kids and a single-wide. Or you lose a thumb. Whichever comes first. (kidproton@hotmail.com)

And so the majority of Americans do not reach adulthood until they are officially dead. (KatSut78@aol.com)

In a related story, millions of American parents petition the IRS to claim freeloading 25 -year-old basement dwelling sons as dependents on their taxes. (arsauls@aol.com)

Unfortunately, it is also impossible to both have a family and also be financially independent! (arnydgreat@aol.com)

I'm near 50 and I've never all three at the same time! (seeker@vcoms.net)

Additional findings showed that at age 29, reality arrives with the divorce, child support, bankruptcy and corporate downsizing. (chefrandy@charter.net)

The "majority of Americans" are bound to change their mind when they realize their kids will be living with them for an extra eight years. (Saxmann361@aol.com)

According to today's winner, JCrook1028@aol.com, the Social Security Administration is one big party now that they're denying benefits to those who grow up but refuse to grow old:

Department of Health reports sharp rise in number of minors reaching retirement age. (JCrook1028@aol.com)