(updated 15 Mar 05)

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'You're in God's hands with Allstate.'
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ROME (Reuters) -- A man given six months to live by his doctors has been told by an Italian court to come back in 14 months to hear the outcome of his demand for insurance damages.
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Helluva deductible. (thereinlies@aol.com)

Like the old joke..he should go to another doctor, who may give him eight..6 + 8, there's his 14 months... and the docs get paid! (Airfarcewon@aol.com; GerriHan65@aol.com, bunch of others)

In an ironic twist, all members present at the court when the judge handed down this decision died of heart attacks when the man DID show up 14 months later! (cmndrnineveh@aol.com) Sounds like our Supreme Court - average age: 95

When in Rome..sue as the Romans sue (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

A little known law, but I've gotten an injuction against my last 2 deaths. (mwatts@nhbakersfield.com)

I guess they figured the six months weren't all going to be used at once (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

The court has stiffed him--I really can't believe that man has a ghost of a chance to collect. (humorbear@aol.com; Airfarcewon@aol.com) Boooooo!

That's what you get for showing up in court in your pajamas. (jaynashvil@aol.com; giraffic_art@yahoo.com)

Behold! The power of Tort Reform! (atwright73@yahoo.com)

So he went to a tennis court instead only to find he had fuzzy green balls. (imwednesdayaddams@gmail.com) That cannot be good....

I didn't realize they had Blue Cross in Italy. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

The man told the Italian Judge, "OK, I'm a gonna be there, but I'm a not a gonna smell a too good." (Truckerex@insightbb.com; old.curmudgeon@hmoforum.com)

Another instance of "la vita breve" messing with " la dolce vita". (HerzogVon@aol.com) Quello è il formaggio!

Having seen how the insurance company screwed him, the courts just figured he was "easy." (old.curmudgeon@hmoforum.com; tpanner@inorbit.com)

He was told that if found dead before the 14 months, he was ordered to materialize in court or face an arrest warrant. (humorbear@aol.com; HerzongVon@aol.com)

Any more questions on why Roman Numerals suck? (seeker@vcoms.net) Still bitter about the third grade?

Hmmmmmmmmm---How can I invest in this company ??? (jdcoops3@aol.com)

He was also warned that if insurance fraud was involved, he could get life. (RWich928@aol.com)

That's no way to treat the Pope. (noncomposmentiss@aol.com)

The case will be decided by a jury of his pyres. (noncomposmentiss@aol.com) Bet he'll still get burned.

Which gives him 8 months to decompose his final argument (mwatts@nhbakersfield.com)

When they ask him if he swears to tell the truth 'so help him God' he can say, "Yes, and by the way I'm right up here with Him and He can vouch for me." (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

The Cosa Nostra Insurance Co., of course, denies any wrong doing. (jbray4@adelphia.net) Hey! I can't mention the Mafia- oh, shit.

Honorable Mention - Who are you, Dr. Who?

Disheartened and angered by hearing this today, he vowed to shoot himself yesterday. (RWich928@aol.com)

Runner-up - for practicing malpractice:

You'd think that if his doctors could actually PREDICT how long the guy was gonna live, they'd be in a different, more lucrative profession! (paracletus3@earthlink.net)

The Winner - as if we needed to be reminded:

And it's STILL 6 months faster than the line at the DMV. (leissuit@msn.com)