Yu Gotta Be Kidding
(This header just in from KMurphyShelton@netscape.net)
CHICAGO, IL (WLS TV) -- While live and on the air, veteran Chicago news anchor Linda Yu referred to a tragic accident in which two men were "...overcome by carbon monoxide fumes in their condom." She did not correct herself.
(Topic "found" in a filthy gas station restroom vending machine by HerzogVon@aol.com, whom NYCM thanks for his $1.00 investment in "hard" news reporting)
On the other hand, I've often thought that "condominium" is really an unnecessarily lengthy word. (kayladykay@AOL.COM)
I think I've heard this story before...or maybe I'm experiencing déjà Yu. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)
Later it was reported in the Chicago Tribune that Yu had a slip of the thong. (email@example.com) There's a "slip of the lips" gag in there, but I decided against even mentioning it.
Ah yeah, nothing beats good drivin' sex... (firstname.lastname@example.org)
I wouldn't point out her mistake to her, it might rub 'er the wrong way. (email@example.com)
"Overcome"...I'm not sure if this is a bad or a good choice of wording when you combine it with "condom". (ParisIuvsMe@aol.com; Airfarcewon@aol.com)
When you put one on the right way it feels like a tourniquet, how the hell do two men get their head's inside one? (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com; firstname.lastname@example.org, other "secret sharers") Women, this one's all yours!
I guess they haven't worked all the bugs out of those new gas-powered gerbils. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com; email@example.com)
Come on, you guys! The story mentions two men & a condom, I get a whole bunch of entries assuming they were gay. It didn't occur to you that it was a botched mènage-?-trois and there was one extremely unfulfilled woman left as an innocent bystander, DID it? Huh huh huh? Bash the "heteros" (or, "breeders" as they call us), too! AND, did any of you consider that the men might both be lesbians?
She meant to say, "...overcome by carbon monoxide fumes while trying on condoms decorated with little tweety birds in their condominium." (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Well, they MIGHT be. How do YOU know? Don't be so sexist!
Gives new meaning to the term: carbon dating. (email@example.com)
Had several lesbian friends at the alma mater. Sometimes, we'd walk around campus and cruise chicks together.
What Linda Yu was really thinking: "I sure hope my boyfriend used a condom. If I get pregnant, I'm gonna hang him by his nut sack." (firstname.lastname@example.org)
No, really! Great deal: on a successful pick-up, ONE of us, occasionally both, was bound to score!
It's possible this could happen in a fiery relationship, where someone's unable to vent their emotions (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
No, never together! FYI, guys: Fantasize all you want, lesbians HATE that shit.
The old bag I'm doin' has far worse gases than that. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)
That's what happens when you get too fired up over an old flame..and you're unable to vent your emotions. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
Sponsored by the King-Kong Condom company. (email@example.com) Film at 11 from "Peter" Jackson.
It seems these men were actually living in the sixty foot condom they bought from the safe sex ads people, the propane heater they were using was not properly vented... (firstname.lastname@example.org)
This was immediately followed by a showing of the winning numbers in the new "Scratch N Sniff" lottery. (I'm referring all lawyer calls to Cad. Hell, she'll scare 'em off!) (HerzogVon@aol.com) Lawyer calls? Cripes, what did you do THIS time?
She stated she did it on purpose as she needed to prove herself worthy of hosting the FOX news. (ParisIuvsMe@aol.com; email@example.com)
Which goes to prove that you shouldn't have sex with your car's exhaust pipe. (firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com) Of course not! That's why in R.I., we TELL people we hate to "Go fuck a truck!"
Here's your $200 Linda...I'll give you five to one you can't get away with saying "shitbrain" on the 11 o'clock edition. (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)
Linda Yu takes great pride in never correcting herself and still being right a whopping 32 percent of the time. (firstname.lastname@example.org) And until she gets it down to 6%, she won't get that job as White House Press Sexetary.
Honorable Mention - Can't say "fucked up" on the air, so:
After that fateful broadcast, such gaffes were referred to as Yu-phamisms. (email@example.com)
Runner-Up - The truth? She's a shameless "ratings bitch":
Some of her other on air faux pas have been her riveting expose on the fans of the Insane Clown Pussy, turning your cocks back in October, and well, anything with President Bush...although that mistake wasn't her fault as she swears she voted for Gore. (ParisIuvsMe@aol.com)
The Winner - Being right is one thing, but NOBODY likes a killjoy:
The next report was about a newly discovered organism, but you could hear someone in the background shout, "No! Don't give her the story!" (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)