(updated 18 Apr 03)

Hosted by Jankath

Eyesometrics
(Title stolen from Baitsmotel6@aol.com)

GERMANY -- A new study suggests that ogling women's breasts for 10 minutes a day does as much to extend a man's life span as spending 30 minutes in a gym.

Well....there's good news and bad news. The good news -- this headline received a record number of entries. The bad news -- 99% of them said the same thing. If you entered the following, you have LOTS of company...

FIRST (3 thousand entries)

WATCH OUT, METHUSELAH! HERE I COME!

SECOND (197 entries)

...Unless she has a gun.

THIRD (140 entries)

I got all the bases covered - I do the ogling while in the gym.

FOURTH (137 entries)

Bet that's not all it extends.

FIFTH (OK, it was just one, but I can relate)

What the hell is ogling?

Now, for the winners with slightly different points.....of view:

This student should be attending school in Chili. (Ttifranks9@aol.com)

Honey! Guess what my doctor said? I have to go to the strip bar FOR MY HEALTH! (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

Galisthenics? (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)

Who'da thought that watching "Baywatch" was good for you? (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

Honey, I'm working out at Hooters tonight.... (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

Das ist vy ve haben der master race mit der biggest doodle dongals. (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)

...See, I thought "doodle dongals" were something else....

Many thanks to Playboy magazine for providing me with hours of "workouts." (guitartexn@aol.com)

As today's winner, BikeMike101@aol.com, always says...No life is wasted - you can always serve as a bad example:

Senator Strom Thurmond's secret is finally revealed. (BikeMike101@aol.com)