(updated 18 May 04)

Hosted by El Guapo

Do you want to ride for a spell?
(Title courtesy of tphyll@aol.com)

New York, NY -- Toys R Us yanked the Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 flying broomstick because it proved TOO popular with girls and boys - and not just for Quidditch. The vibrating toy that you "ride between your legs" has become a collectors' item.

After filtering out 300+ Michael Jackson and "Mom!" entries, this is what has risen to the top:

Good luck buying it on eBay. All of the available models have been snapped up by someone with the screen name MJNeverland. (MaislosMom@comcast.net)

However, have no fear... The Nimbus 2000 is now available at "Whores R' We" and other sex stores in your area... (Storm844@aol.com)

Yep, my wife rented a van . We're the collectors !!! (jdcoops3@aol.com)

Geoffrey The Giraffe is working on his next "exclusive" toy, the Eminem "It Moans Like a Real Ho" doll. (straightarrow15@hotmail.com)

...And the "Out-of-leftfield" Award goes to:

In a unrelated news story, the adult store Joys R Us recalled a product they described as "a stick that has straw attached at one end". The receipt of the unidentified product is being called a mystery by the company. (lanny888@yahoo.com)

Released by Toys R Us management later that day: "Toys R Us regrets the use of the word 'yanked' in reference to its recall". (razcactus@netzero.com)

Uh.. you said yanked... (mwatts@nhbakersfield.com) ...this is funny, in a Beavisian sort-of-way.

Pun... overload... system... can't formulate... response... call 911! (razcactus@netzero.com)

And if you've ever had your Nimbus yanked at Toys "R" Us, you KNOW how painful that can be! (craigieb@aol.com) I was waiting for this one! Thanks, Craigieb!

In a related story, Whammo is pulling the plug on Silly Putty Anal Bead Maker Kit. (guitartexn@aol.com)

And the winner:

The makers of The Vibrating Pocket Elmo could not be reached for comment. (BabelFishing@yahoo.com) If they make Tickle-Me-Elmo Underoos, I'm IN!